The dark side of coffee

I listen to a coffee related podcast. I'm not a foody or a coffee fanatic. I just like the podcast for no particular reason.

From the podcast, from memory "Starbucks is over roasted. I consider it on the dark side of coffee."

This instantly kicked me off on a tangent of Darth Vader at Starbucks ordering a coffee. What kind of coffee would he order? How long would it take him to distance-choke the teen behind the bar? The possibilities are endless. If I had the gumption, I would rent a costume and make up a skit.

There have to be specific lines. I'm thinking "I just want coffee." ... "Large, do I have to explain 'large'?!?" Followed shorty by the choking sounds from behind the counter and a pot of coffee floating though the air and filling a cup.

Someone get right on that.