Lawyer

So, I'm listening to the noise building behind us. I need a lawyer so I can get some sleep. Where does one begin? I looked in the yellow pages and there are all kinds of categories. I have no idea what I'm looking for. I do not even know what kind of layer to talk to. Maybe I'll look in to one of the legal clinics.

Someone needs to write a how to that tells people (me) how to get a lawyer without getting screwed in the process.