This world isn't fun any more. I don't want to be part of it. I don't know how to get off. There is no reset button. There is no way to tell people to leave you alone.
I should become a monk. I should take a vow of poverty and actually live the life. Then no one will want anything from me because I will have nothing worth taking.
If I never did anything, no one would want me to stop. If I never did anything no one would want me to do more.
It is impossible to live in this world without killing other things. I'm 40. I feel like I've lived and eaten and breathed enough for ten people.
There is no quiet left. There is not enough peace to go around. There is no where and no when left to stop and smell the roses. Even on vacation I have people beating a path to my door to pay them money and to take my will and drive away from me. They want too much.
They can only take everything, then there is no more. Yet they come. Yet they want more. They do not believe me. Until I am a pile of worthless bones picked over they will continue to come and continue to take.
I am broken. I am tired. I am conscious of my mortality. There is nothing left but the bones. Yet, they come for more.