What a friend said

... The point is this: (yes, I do have a point) a lot of the scars that I bear from my childhood are healing.  They will always be there and will likely always be a factor in how I conduct my life.  Situations, experiences and environment do NOT shape a person.  How you CHOOSE to react to those external forces dictates what you become.  However, as the hurt goes away, I don't always lean back on my cold, emotionless maturity to get me through.  I don't feel like I always have to be the adult in any given circumstance.  That side of me definitely still exists.  But that defense mechanism is outdated and I don't much like that person.  So if I want to stay up all night giggling inanely with a friend.  Don't judge me.  If I skip down the road because it makes me smile, don't judge me.  If I want to dye my hair blue, spend some time without a job, drift through school, and be a child for once in my life...   It is well within your right to say that I'm being childish, and that I'm still a kid and that I'm showing my age.  And yeah... I'm ok with that.  Kinda the point. Breanne

I've always been the responsible one. I have a house, car. steady job. I worked at my last job for nine years before leavening for another on my terms.  I pray for stability. I pray for normalcy.

I've never been much on freedom. I'm disabled and the walls around me are comforting. When you can't see the menu at a fast food place or the street signs without climbing a pole. When you can't read a map without a magnifying glass or tell a cop from a door man in a foreign place without asking, Traveling and getting lost in the freedom of the moment just looses it's appeal.

I've never been much on freedom. At least, the kind of freedom that people talk about when they are trying to get away from themselves. There is nothing wrong with that. I'm drinking a glass of wine as I type this. That is away to get away from myself too.

It sounds like you need a shake up to me.I hope you find it in a safe recoverable manor. I hope you come back some day from your get away. I hope you remember us when you settle down again. If you do. No rush.

I've been told that I was never a child. I've been told that I was more mature than my parents, even as a kid. My father once told me that he learned how to save money from me. I don't miss it. I have felt once in a while like I missed something. So what. I have what I have now and that is all any one ever has. Family, friends, history, It is all a big pile of Kelly. I'm good with that.