It wasn't me. You can't prove anything.


I'm moving to Alaska. A buddy of mine wants to take a cruse to the state next year with a bunch of friends. I think the decision of legalizing marijuana might clench the deal. His sister lives up there. They had a bear eat half their house once. That was after they traveled for days in canoe to get there. The rest of the family became concerned and asked the local sheriff to take a look. He flew over the place in a small plane and they waved, so it must be OK. It sounds like a heck of an adventure. We would not make it far past the tourist spots I'm sure. His sister and her husband now live in a city. They talk about how much warmer it is this year than in the past.

Mr Clean
The outfit is complete. I got a T-Shirt  that says Mr  Clean on the back (thanks to my mom). I also found a loop earring from my Grandmother's old jewelery box. Don't worry, it is no heirloom. That box only has costume jewelery. I will take plenty of pictures tomorrow at the party. I will make sure this time to have at least one of myself in the mix. I've been ordered to make sure of that by more than one person.
I don't really have the physique to pull off Mr. Clean. I'm faking it.  There are no pants in the pictures. I'm just going to ware genes and role. Last year one of the guys showed up in shorts and a t-shirt with a towel around his neck like a cape. The towel had a big "M" on it designed in duct-tape. The guy's name was Drew. He came as Mandrew, the thrifty super hero. It was original. Every one had good costumes last year. I got a kiss at that party.

Something on the White Board Today
Whiteboard Jackolantern
I have to admit, this was not my most productive day. I was looking forward to putting my costume together all day. I was thinking about voting. I was wondering who will come to the party. The few things I got done, had to get done. I try to keep these days to a minimum. I had considered taking today off all together. That might have been a better idea. Cynthia took yesterday off to catch up on life. I might as well have done the same today.


I had to move several files from my P2P machine to my server. There was still not enough room to burn a DVD. It turns out my DVD burning troubles are a bad batch of DVDs. They say 4 speed, but they only burn at 2.  The whole reason for getting that new equipment was to fix my lack of burning ability. Oh, well. It sounds like a good idea to get a 16 speed burner any way.
It's funny moving files all over the place. I'm burning some old files now. It takes ages at this speed. Maybe I can do some more tomorrow and Sunday. I don't know if I will have much else going on other than the party. Hopefully I will catch a movie with a friend of mine.


I have to log all my hours. I'm pretty sure I'm going to switch tasks at my day job. They want to take the task that I spend most of my time doing and outsource it. There are plenty of other tasks that I can do, but who knows what will happen. I hope to keep up the blog if I loose my job. The departments are consolidating at some point. I may not survive the combination.
I have TV night with friends tonight. They have TiVo so we watch an entire week of TV in one evening. It really is the only TV I watch these days besides some news.

Remote Control Plane
I saw a remote plane that is launched using a rocket. Apparently that is the lightest most fuel efficient way to make these little planes get to altitude. They fly for miles on batteries after that. Then, glide to a landing. I think they don't want the heat from a gas moder.
I've heard of a Nuclear Rocket that has amazing potential. The article says this may make a trip to Mars possible. The sheer length of time it takes to get to Mars makes human exploration unlikely for now. NASA says they have plants in mind that might make the trip. I can't imagine being cooped up in a capsule, or even one building for six months with no chance of getting out, They will probably have to recycle everything including water. Yuck. I'd need at least a replicator.

Those Frog Bastards
I can't believe it. Well, yes I can They are French after all. France changed the rout of The Tour de France to screw Armstrong. I hope a different American wins. I don't even like Armstrong that much. He is a Texan and an American. He just rubs me the wrong way. He reminds me of a used car salesman.


This is an email from Anna-Banana.
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
5. There are three religious truths:
  a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
  b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
  c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
10 Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ....they're cramming for their final exam.
17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks , so I wondered what do Chinese
 mothers use? toothpicks?
18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
19. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?


I just ordered a 160 GB hard drive, a new DVD burner, and an external drive case. My DVD burner is kind of aging. It is messing up on nearly every DVD lately. I ordered a new burner and that case will let me plug it into any USB 2 port and burn externally. That case will let me hook up any IDE device. I believe it will support ATA 200. I'm not sure. I'm not sure what  I'm going to do if I run out of space before the equipment comes in. I'll live I suppose. Some of my existing DVDs appear to have read problems. It isn't that many.

New Police Story
I'm watching a Jackie Chan flick called New Police Story. Some gang of nut-ball hoodlums just killed Jackie's entire regiment and his brother in law. Look out. I'm so not reading any of the subtitles.


Writer's Block
This morning was strange. I wanted to jot some notes down for the blog, but I just couldn't put my finger on what I wanted to say. It was like something needed to come to the surface, but wouldn't. Normally, I don't get the urge to write unless the words are there as well.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask where they are going and hook up with them later.
I read recipe the way I read science fiction - I get to the end and think "Well, that's not going to happen."--unknown.
I got into an argument with my rice crispies this morning. I distinctly heard "snap - crackle - fuck him!" So, I dropped a peach on them. I don't stand for that kind of attitude from my breakfast.
My fake plants died because I didn't pretend to water them.
What is the difference between a musician and a large pizza? A large pizza can fee a family of four.
What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra? The bull has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back.

I found out recently that I have been misspelling the term "blah" as "blaw" for a long time. I apologize for this indiscretion, but I believe the term "blah" should be categorized as an anomonopeia. I will spell my anomonopeias as I darn well please.

More On Poker
It was a learning experience to play poker. I have  not seriously played poker for money since high school. I had a little poker get together for my bachelor party, but that was not for real. my best man spotted me the doe.
Something I learned, or relearned, about myself is I don't have very good control over my poker face. Now, the first tell is not really my fault. They teach you to watch people's eyes in poker. Watch what they watch. That is pretty darn easy with me because I have to use a small pare of binoculars to read the cards in the middle of the table. I haven't come u with a way to counteract that one yet.
Some one did let me know that the instant a king turned over, I grabbed a chip. That is also a tell. One that I should have control over in the future.

Suicidal Thoughts
When I was fifteen. I thought about killing myself. At that point in my life I didn't take it all that seriously. I've thought more about it as I got older and life got harder. The thing is, I didn't know at fifteen that I would not go through with it. That is something that I've learned as I've gotten older.
There is a feeling of fear that prevents me from doing it. It is the same fear that prevents me from doing allot of things. It is the same feeling that stops me from talking to women. It is the same fear that keeps me from achieving my goals. I wonder if those who try to help me achieve some of these wonderful things are actually helping me find the strength to kill myself. I hope not. I don't feel depressed today. I fear getting stronger. That is a hell of a thing.
It's funny. I'm watching a Star Trek Voyager. Belana (a half-breed human and klingon) has been genetically separated into two separate people one full klingon and one full human. The klingon side fights. The human side figures out how to escape the alien fortress.  That is how I feel most of the time. Like there are several competing goals and directions all swirling and getting nothing done.

Not only do I need a vacation, I have 150 hours to blow. That is 3.75 weeks. I need to start taking days off. I'm seriously considering taking all the Fridays off for the rest of the year. I would get way to used to that. Do you know how hard it would be to work that first Friday next year? That thought is almost too much to bare.
I have some friends suggesting a cruse. I've never been out of the country. A cruse might be a good introduction to just leaving for a little while.

Paint Ball (from email)
Me - How did the rest of the weekend go?
Adam - Paint ball Sunday was too much fun. Laurie and I have big bruises all over our bodies. I, so far, have won the biggest bruise competition. I have one the size of a silver dollar and raised about 1/4 inch. It looks like the crab nebula.
The fun part was when you were implementing a strategy and it worked. There was this course with a gully to the side of a bunch of beat up cars. If the other team wasn't looking you could run down the gully and flank the other team. Eventually everyone knew about the gully trick and it became a big shoot out. One side had a distinct advantage if they claimed the half-way point (if the other side claimed the half-way point, they couldn't press as well.) I was involved in an attack with Michael and Brian where we took the gully and wiped out Laurie and Jamon guarding the gully. I was the only one left after the assault and ran into their base and got everyone in there to surrender.
Very fun.


There is some disturbing combinations of news out of Brazil these days. They are getting yelled at for their nuclear efforts. Now they have launched a rocket into space. OK, boys and girls, can you tell me why these two stories scare me?

Turkey is trying to join the European union. One of the things Turkey is getting yelled at about is the illiteracy rate of girls.  In rural areas the illiteracy rate is much higher among girls. Turkey really is a two sided country. They fight like mad to join the EU and yet they have people who live hand to mouth on subsistence farms. France has a hard time accepting Turkey because of the immigration problems.
The only thing I remember about Turkey is the this film I saw when I was a kid. Where a guy is nabbed by airport security carrying smack and spends a long horrible time in a Turkish prison. I will not go into what happens to him there. He is there long enough to learn some of the language. He escapes by killing a high level guard and taking one of the officer's uniforms and walking out the front door.

I slept almost the entire day away. I cannot believe it is still Sunday. It feels like no other day. I've slept allot this weekend. It is a shame really. It feels like the weekend has blown by. I only had one thing to do and I didn't get it done.
A friend of mine says she broke up with her boyfriend recently. She was miserable today on email. What she doesn't understand is that she had a relationship. She will have another, probably soon. I on the other hand go for years between relationships. I cannot let it depress me any more. I have to keep moving forward. I have to act like I feel sorry for her pain. She will have some one in two weeks she is interested in and follows around. It will be a couple of years yet for me. That is my prediction. She tells me that I live like this out of choice. I have to tell her that even though she does not understand my life to not call it choice.
I just watched Donny Darko. That is a bad movie to watch when you feel like this. It reminds me of the time I nearly killed myself when I was fifteen. To this day I wonder about all the things that would be different.  I can't think of a single thing that would be better or worse. It seems like everything just is, and would still be without me. I've accomplished nothing. Oh, well. It is off to watch Tooth. That is a much less depressing movie. Maybe I'll have some hot dogs. Those will make everything better.


Last Week
Week ending 2004-10-22 stats
Last Month
2004-10-22 Sitemeter Visits per Month
Key: Green = visits  Purple = page views
My normal number of hits on a given day is about eight or ten. Most of these are my mother. (Thanks mom) So, where did this variable mountain of hits come from last week? Well I deliberately put some key words in the middle of some paragraphs. I also deliberately complained about the layout of phone numbers at my work and used capital "X"s to describe it. This gave me "XXX" and "XXXXX" and so on. It worked like a charm. I got random hits all over the place.
If you look at the far left of Last Month's chart, that is about normal. I don't know what happened on "4". Some one read my entire site that day. The sudden drop off at 22 happened because the keywords are dropping off the end of my blog's front page. The hits should return to normal.

Artist: Cowboy Junkies [ Search RP ]
Song: Lay it Down
Album: Lay It Down [ Search RP ]
Artist: Blind Faith [ Search RP ]
Song: Can't Find My Way Home
Album: Blind Faith [ Search RP ]

Texas Holdem
I walked in and there were tons of food and pizza. I had a drink. I think it was a sort of martini. Adam has this concoction he likes to make.
The first game was up stairs at a huge table. There were thirteen players. We squeezed in . We were playing Texas Holdem. The buy-in was $50 and the bets were 1-1-2-2. If you know the game you understand what the means. It took me half the night to sink into a rhythm. It came eventually. It turns out I have a bad poker face. I have tells. I have poor sense of other's intentions. Every time I tried to call some one's bluff, it turned out they were not bluffing.
After some more people showed up, we split in to two groups. The upstairs group, and the downstairs group. I stayed upstairs.  It worked out pretty well. No one I really knew was up there. We were the no nonsense group.  The folks down stairs (meaning Adam) were loud and obnoxious. The upstairs group, however, came to play.
I think every one had fun though. That is what matters. That is what people say who won anyway. I came out about $75 ahead as far as I can tell this morning. I was up over a hundred for a short time . We cashed out when we split the game, and re-bought in.
During the second game, the one not dominated by Adam, some interesting social things happened involving me.  One of the hands came round and we were turning over our cards. I thought I only had a pair and was prepared to throw in my cards. Then someone noticed that I had filled in the straight. I muttered "ah-man" under my breath because I was embarrassed from missing it. From that point on it became a joke when people won to act disappointed and apologize. In the same hand, I tried to cover my embarrassment by saying something stupid like ""I only won by that much." holding my fingers up showing about a cm between them. That became a joke too. Some one had ace high and some one else had a boat and would say "I only won by that much, sorry. I guess I have to rack in my chips." I was the butt of a running joke with a bunch of people I didn't really know. It was awesome.


Texas Holdem
I'm off this evening to play a game of Texas Holdem with some friends. I fear I will simply be out some money by the end of the evening. I've had five people tell me different sets of rules on the game. Even my mom was able to tell me what some of the terms are. I'm surfing the net looking for ideas. Oh, yah, a flush beats a straight.

Artist: Herbie Hancock [ Search RP ]
Song: Cantaloupe Island
Album: Cantaloupe Island [ Search RP ]


Brazil may be next
Great! now Brazil is getting into the act. It looks like if you want to have a real leaver in negotiations with the U. S. you start refining nuclear material into fuel. I don't want to pay as high of income tax. Where can I find a centrifuge. I understand they are relatively cheap. That second article is very detailed. It makes me realize why the UN and Europe are out to shut Iran down.

Four Major League Baseball fans went rock climbing: a Yankee fan, a Red Sox fan, an Astros fan, and a Cardinals fan.
They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who amongst them loved their team more and was the most "die-hard" fan.  
The argument grew hotter and hotter and the four fans grew more and more agitated. Such was the emotion that upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Yankee fan proclaimed loudly and earnestly to the other three, "This is for the New York Yankees!" and without a moments hesitation threw himself off the mountain. 
The supreme sacrifice!
Not to be outdone by a Yankee fan, the Red Sox fan jumped up and cried out,  "This is for the Boston Red Sox!" and quickly threw himself off the mountain, also willing to sacrifice himself to prove his devotion to his team.
Refusing to be outdone by the Yankee and Red Sox fans, the Astros fan rose to his feet, summoned up every ounce of his courage, and yelled at the top of his lungs,  "This is for the Houston Astros!" and without a moment's hesitation, shoved the Cardinals fan off the mountain. 

Artist: Poe [ Search RP ]
Song: Terrible Thought
Album: Haunted [ Search RP ]

Working Conditions
The real reason for outsourcing. I'm in Houston and we constantly beg the building people to do something about the crappy ventilation. There are a couple of days we wish we could open the windows. Most of the rest of the time, we complain there is no insulation around them. We have a nice area out back with a lake and trees. I would kill to be able to work out there with a wireless net. No dice. Wireless is banned. I would love to work at home in my underware.
I bet the issue is not warmer climate, but one that is in an area with better daylight. I bet a little light therapy would do the trick.

RDF RSS Atom and whatnot.
Good Gosh. Every one in the universe has something to say. I went looking for good RDF links and, let me tell you, I found them. There must be millions of information sources just begging to be listened too out there. That one link lead to a great list of lists and search pages for RDF RSS Atom and other links.

Funky Letters
I've always wondered what an "A" or "AA-" rated stock means? I found this site, but it didn't help.That one only covers debt ratings. Then I lost interest rather quickly.

Funny thing about wireless Internet. It takes longer the second time you configure it. I'm not sure why that is, but so far, it is. I configured my old 11 mb connection on the first try. Then, it took me two routers to get it back. This new router and card are 54 mb and the exact same thing happened. It took me 30 seconds to set it up the first time. Then, it took me two hours to get it to work after I made one change.
IThe purpose of this experiment is to stream movies from my other computers (file server). 11 mb just won't cut the mustard. When it logs in at over 38 mb it seems to work. For some reason I had both wireless adapters logging in at the same time. That doesn't help really. It just slows the faster one down.


The Giving Tree
This was one of the first poems that ever touched me. I remember a teacher's aid reading it to a few of us in the corner of the classroom while every one else played. I was very young. I remember the poem. I remember identifying with both the boy and the tree at the same time. I wonder some times if this was the first real abstract thought I found.
Be glad to give. You cannot take it with you. Everything you take came from some one or thing that gave it. This poem reminds me that all the things I buy, or find, or read all come from God ultimately. No one takes without some one or something giving.
An old story.
One day a scientist stands before God and says "God, we don't need you anymore. We have learned how to create men."
God answered "Let me see you create a man."
The scientist picked up a hand full of dust and just as  he was about to breath life into the  grains, God said "Stop! ... Get your own dust.":
SharpReader RSS
I've giving RSS a shot. So far so good. I hated the last five clients I tried, but this one seems to be what I was looking for. Straight forward and simple. So far so good. I'm only getting Yahoo, Reuters, Slashdot(rss) and NPR at the moment. I'm sure the list will blossom.
Cool! I just got my Blog to work with RSS. Please note the new link on the right hand side that says "RSS Link".

Crazy Indian
Crazy Indian Have you heard about this psycho? Check out the mustaches. He was just nabbed by the authorities. He was known for cutting off people's heads, and feeding body parts to the fish. He kidnapped a celebrity and at least one movie was made in his likeness.

I had the goofiest dream last night.
Chris, from Chris and Sarah fame, was directing a play. It was this kind of Monty Python Flying Circus thing. I'm a bit hazy on the details, but there was an ostridge in a dress on roller skates and people walking around saying "SPAM!". I was waiting in the wings for my queue holding a purple box for some reason. Tedford was laughing so hard he was snorting. Chris was on the floor on stage in front of me as part of the skit. I asked him if that was Tedford and he laughed and nodded. Ted gagged on a cackle and Chris and I nearly choked ourselves. I woke up laughing out-loud. I couldn't get to sleep for a half hour.

I've had this kind of day
A "Day"


Buy Button in the Brain
Is there a buy button in the human brain? This article is nuts. Advertisers are looking for a way to trick people in to buying products they don't need. The ultimate goal in marketing is to sell anything to any one at any time regardless of need or purpose. I heard a used car salesman say "I have to sell the cars on the lot. It doesn't matter if some one needs that car, I have to sell it to them." That is his job. If his mother came in and bought a hundred cars, no one would care.
The human brain was designed to feed, flee, fight, and have sex. The four "f" theory. The whole concept of buying and selling came a millenia after the specs were frozen for the human brain. I hope they are barking up the wrong tree. The most effective sales technique is to associate your product with one of the "f"s listed above. Selling food is pretty obvious, though they still try to use sex to place their specific product out front. Fighting and fleeing are used in political advertisements all the time. I hope this one does not pan out.
One Muslim view
I'll bet I know how this guy would answer at least one of my questions below. Abu Hamza al-Masri seems to think non Muslims should be killed, alledgidly. According to the article he has been charged with inciting murder based on race and other hate crimes in the UK. Is your religion your race? I'm not sure how all that works out.

I just called our help desk at my day job. They are calling the support folks Support Engineers. I wonder if this is why so many design jobs are being outsourced. No one takes them seriously. I was a sanitation Engineer for a while (I worked for a maid service for a while during college). In Texas you cannot call yourself an Electrical Engineer in advertisement unless you are certified through the state. You can practice, but you can't put it on your business cards or on your web page. If you outsource the job, there are no such requirements.

Pop Tarts
Pop Tarts tern 40 this year. I cannot believe they have not outlawed Pap Tarts. These little mass produced pastries are responsible for 92% of all adult onset diabetic attacks (I'm making that up). They are a replacement to MREs. I remember the U. S. dropped vegetarian MREs in a  Muslim area to prevent starvation. I thought "drop Pop Tarts."
I know what I'm having for dinner. Yup you guessed it, chicken wings.

HalfLife 2
I cannot wait for this to come out. The hero in the game is named Gorden for God's sake. I plaid the original for hours. We plaid online. I completed the single player game and sucked at the online version. I just can't compete with the twelve year olds who have nothing better to do that learn every nuance of the game. Even getting your ass handed to you is fun sometimes. Not every time though. I have to arrange games with my geezer buddies (30s) so I have some one to smack down.

Tiny Turbines
I am thrilled that some one is working on this stuff. It is a tiny jet engine that puts out electricity and should replace batteries in many kinds of devices. The research is almost ready for the battlefield. The problems of heat and fuel sound like things the researchers can overcome. The device is designed to run on diesel fuel. I'm sure it will have to be well filtered. One D cell battery sized container of fuel can power a device many times longer than a D cell. Once drained , it can be swapped out quickly. This really looks like something that might work. If they get the little generators to work for portable devices, why not more? These engines sound very efficient. The first thing I want to hear is a test of a vehicle filled with these things 
These things eat up oxygen. They generate heat. I can't wait to have one on my belt. Imagen a laptop that runs for a week, then all you have to do is fill a reservoir and you are back in business. No recharging. No dead batteries to dispose of. No exotic chemicals to recycle. I find this very exciting. I hope this pans out. I've said several times that the next big step needs to be batteries. Actually, everybody says that, I just nod and grunt in agreement.


Notebook Computers
My day job bought notebook computers last time around. Every three or four years the whole place gets new machines. Hey, that's great. The trouble is, no one is willing to take their computer anywhere. They issued cheesy locks and mandates about how not to get your computer stolen. They tell people to put them in the trunk of rent cars, They tell people to take the notebook with them when they leave the hotel.
Recently there was a meeting announced in a neighboring city. There is a long list of directs going. I don't think a single one of them is taking their notebook. They will not check email. They will get little if any work done. They will take notes on real paper notebooks. I don't get it. Some "mobile workforce."

I'm kind of glad I didn't go to the festival this weekend. I hear there was a murder at the cam grounds (genetic sample required). Reading the article it sounds like a crew of hillbillies were drunk in the parking lot and rose a fuss. Maybe they should stop selling alcohol. That would cut their attendance in half.

When I was on my walk in to work this morning I heard the above story on the radio. I wanted to comment on it on my blot. I didn't even consider trying the local news entities. I went straight to and did a search. The site (KHOU) requires registration. For the love of god, don't put any real information in the site. The less accurate information they get the better.

Someone emailed me and asked the following questions.
Q: I have a question. If you are legally blind, then how do you read and comment on blogs. And if you don't have a license then how do you get around? I'm fifteen and I have a hard time getting around because I'm not old enough for a license yet. I'm always bumming rides off the seniors on my soccer team.
A: My vision is roughly 20/400. That means me standing 20 feet away from a sign, I see it as well as you do at 400 feet. Completely blind people have special software that allows them to read the screen by braille, or audibly. I get about two inches from the screen, or have the computer reed long stretches of text to me.
Here is an old blog entry that kind of explains things.
I have a hard time getting around. I take the bus when I can. I rely on friends. I take advantage of my family. Getting around is a constant drain. It is the reason I didn't go to the Texas Renaissance Festival this year.

I'm tired of allergies. I have this condition where my ears freak out every time it rains or the weather gets cold, or warm, or dry, or well, anything. They get itchy and all clogged up full of junk. I have to blow them out with a little water gun deal that comes in the ear-wax removal kit nearly every week. If I miss a chance to do it, my ears let me know. Right now, my ears itch. That is not so bad. The really horrible thing is the chunk of ear wax that is rolling around my left ear. I hate that. It make a little grinding noise every time I take a step. It will not come out on it's own. It will not sit still. My little water gun thing broke. I can't get another one until this evening.
I stopped, but no dice. Kroger must have hidden them or stopped carrying them. One person sent me to isle 13. Another sent me to 15. Some one said they were next to tooth brushes. Another said they were near band aids.

Mandatory Lunch
There is a lunch for the department at my day job today. I have a program I need to get up and running. I'm going to run out to a quick lunch with Josh. I'm told this is political suicide. Great. The whole department is going to be there. The Europeans came in for a week of meetings. The directs are complaining that they are not given a week to attend the meetings. They have to attend them and get a weeks worth of work done. Welcome to corporate America. Here is twice as much work, a million meetings (where you get more work to do), and you can't work any overtime. You can't even work any free time. That is a no no too.YUP

I'm watching a Star Trek The Next Generation where Captain Picard gets a second chance to change his history. he decides to keep things the way they are. The question keep popping in my head. What regrets do I have? If I dropped dead right now, what would my last lament be? I think I would regret the effort of this life. I think I should worry about moving on after this life. When I go, I want to stare death in the "face" and say "Now what old man?"


OK, I felt bad after bad mouthing sports yesterday. I sat down with some friends this afternoon and watched the Astros game. I have to say, it was quite thrilling. We were behind most of the game. Then the other team's pitcher had a melt down and tried to eat a phone in the dug-out. We ended up pulling it off. OK, OK, I give. It was fun. That is all it has to be really.
No Idea
Sometimes I believe things have a reason for happening. I've always wondered why I never could focus on things that seem important. Maybe it was not meant to be. Lets go along this line of thought for a moment. I cannot find a mate because the right one has not come along. I did not graduate college because it was the wrong major, or the wrong time. I enjoy writing in my blog for a reason. Maybe I need to learn to write, or spell better for a future opportunity. Some call this way of thinking delusional. I'm starting to think it is a good defense mechanism. It may keep the invading fears at bay for a while. Yah, yah, that's it. It will all work out in the end.

DnD Turns 30
I remember playing as a kid. Teachers used to recommend DnD as a learning aid until the bible belt got hold of it. Now it is 30 years old. The original game has spun off in all kinds of directions. I can't think of how many computer games and movies owe at least some homage to DnD.

Great. The Astros won. Now I will have to hear all about it Monday. I will have just that much more time to listen to the stats of every frigging player at lunch. I just wish I could hack fantasy football and hold every one's trades hostage. I hate Fall. I wish all the sports stuff would be discovered for the load of crap that it is. It is huge. How many people have lost everything over sports? How many marriages have ended over football games? How many people have to die before something is done? Don't talk to me about sports. I don't care unless you are one of the participants. I'll listen to someone talk about the softball game they won. I really don't want to hear about your kids' games. That is the last thing I care about. We would have a cure for cancer if the billions of dollars that have gone into college football went for research. Why has western civilization not yet fallen?
Why do I let this crap bug me.?

72 Dead Virgins
I need to find someone who is both Muslim and willing to give me some straight answers. There are a few things I've heard that I want to verify or dismiss One, Does it say in the koran that if you can't convert some one to Islam, you should kill them? Two, if marters get 72 dead virgins when they die, what is the standard good person view of heaven in Islam? Three, is there some mandate to convert the world to Islam?


This is pretty cool. You too can have a freaky clock on your site. Click on the clock and it will tell you how. Should I put this on my template?
It requires Flash to work.

HotJobs, CareerBuilder, and more. I've hit three blots today that complain they cannot find a job no matter how hard they try. They are all young people out of college. It's starting to sound as though the outsourcing of America is showing it's bad side.

Some blogs of note
An opinion (or opinions) about writing.
A band and football (soccer) follower.
Just kind of weird. But written in proper english.
A Finnish amateur dancing chick.
Family discussion of politics, lists of food and favorite movies.
Some one tooling around Africa, and yet, is boring.
Female surfer.

Observations on blogs today
Most blogs really, really, REALLY suck.
Most blogs are boring teenagers who think they have the most devastating injustices in the universe to deal with every day.
The most interesting blogs belong to interesting people (go figure).
I really get sucked in by the journalists and the political blogs.
I'm starting to think my blog is well above average in content.
Some people think Christmas shopping is a good thing.

I woke up this morning and called a friend to find out of they wanted to go to lunch.  I forgot, this is the Saturday they had all arranged to go to the Texas Renaissance Festival  I opted out because it is just too much trouble. That is too bad really, because it is another friend of mine's birthday. Heath is a beg ren-fest freak and is having his party as I type at the camp grounds. I'm sure it is a good time. Heath and his friends usually have a blast at any function. Ken called me up weeks ago and invited me. Thanks, but I just don't have the will.
Other than that, I've been reading blogs and trying to out any my downstairs neighbor. He plays video games all day and I play my stereo to drown him out. Hey, I could be working. I have not so much as stuck my nose outside. The only industrious thing I've done all day is let my mobile phone battery run down so it will take a better charge.
My parents are in Galveston looking for a park. They took the Jeep. It sounds like they are having a fun day. My dad wants to track down some good fishing holes. I forget the name of the park.
I'm really getting sick of NASA screwing things up. It turns out Lockheed designed the breaks upside down on that Sun probe thing that slammed into the desert a couple of weeks ago. They could have hired me for half the money to beat the shit out of it with a sledge hammer. Honestly, would that have looked much worse? I still think catching it with a helicopter is an insane idea. This was another cluster SNAFU.

Two Cool Tools
Inkulator 9000 makes pen and inc type drawings (think graphic novel or some comic books) from 3D meshes. The site appears to be Slashdot-ized at the moment, but the samples look very cool. This one requires you already have the 3D meshes (CAD drawings).
Rasterbater is an interesting product. It takes an image and blows it up, then splits it into printable pages. This is so you can print a large poster of your snapshot. It works well with faces and line art. Peter sent me this like a couple of years ago. This one is fun because it just works right off the web page. You send them a simple (good contrast) picture and it emails you back the PDF files to print on your printer.


Shark Tale
Sucked! It stunk for me. I listened to a review on the BBC, and it stunk for kids too.

Will some one for the love of God ask me for a Gmail invite. This is embarrassing. I thought I knew more geeks than this. I've had six invites for weeks. Someone has to have five friends who want an account..

I'm not GAY!!!
Note to all women in my life. Stop trying to talk to me about how cute some guy is. I think you find me a complete non-threatening entity, thus you don't watch what you say around me. STOP IT!!! Save it for the fags in your life.
Women! Thats IT! I've had it. This cannot stand. If I have not learned to this point, I will learn now.
It boils down to respect. I have no respect. How do I obtain respect? Step one, stop talking to women who already show me no respect. Step two, respect myself. Step three, learn the game. Step four, play the game. Step five, play the game well.

Step One (loose some bad contacts)
This one should be easy I have already begone.. It involves not doing something. There are a couple of women in my life I need to cut myself away from. I bet they won't even notice.

Step Two (Self Respect)
This one may be the most difficult step of all. I'm not sure how to respect myself. I've learned in my life over an over that if you act like you deserve something, then every one else will believe it. I deserve respect. I deserve to be treated like a man. I deserve a life. This step is not just a thing to do, it is a way to think. It is something that needs to be added to everything I do. I don't know how I can tell if I have achieved this step. I suppose I will know one way or the other.
I have the oddest feeling that if I pull this step off, The others will become moot.

Step Three (Learn the Game)
The game of life. The game of people, the game of relationships. All of it is part of the human condition. The game involves meeting people, talking, selling, moving and shaking. The game is dominance. The game is getting laid. I suppose it all stems from getting what you want from others.

Step Four (Play the Game)
I only partially know what the game is. I need to dive in at some point. Timing is part of the game. I can't learn the right time without practice. I must make the effort.

Step Five (Play the Game Well)
This is the last step. I must conquer all the other steps first. This will come. only after hard work. I must learn the rules and practice first.


Kelly News
Long before I had a blot, I sent out emails with news clips in them to my friends. I did not have a mailing list. I just added names as I crossed them. If I thought someone would be interested in the particular story, they ended up on that mail. I stopped long ago, before the blog. I wonder if any one misses the mails.

Phones and Cancer
Here we go again. Ten years of mobile phone use gives you cancer, or maybe not. They just don't know what long term exposure to the radiation of a mobile phone does to the human body. We phone users are all test subjects in an experiment exposing our brains to high frequency electromagnetic radiation. I try to use my phone for short periods of time anyway. The times I'm on a long call, I use an ear peace. The phone is half a meter from my head. This is just happenstance. I don't go out of my way to limit my exposure.

XP Service Pack 2
I just got an email at my day job talking about XP SP2 implementation. They are sending out this email asking for information on what is going to go wrong during implementation. How the hell am I supposed to know what is going to break in IS? The only thing I'm aware of in SP2 that causes problems in most software is the built in firewall. My company uses a third party firewall, so I don't think that will be a factor. They send out this email and zero information on how to tell what is going to go wrong.
IS does this kind of thing quite a bit. This email is a CYA communication. They want to be able to say "Nobody told us it was going to blow up."

Goofy Kelly
There are one million hours in 114.155251 (114 years and 56.66 days (1360 hours)) years. That is a conceivable age for some one to reach.

I have to stop calling myself an asexual. That article defines asexuality as some one with no interest in sex. I do have interest. I just don't get it. Yet another category I don't fit. The article said thirteen percent of people polled had not had sex in the last year. I fit that one.

Old Server
I do software packaging. That means I set up software so it installs off the network without user intervention. The box is actually just an old NT workstation.  Nine of these programs use a license server. The old server sits in my office. There are people all over North America and some in the far corners of the planet who use this server to check out licenses for their software. Well, we finally moved all the license software over to a real "server" in Michigan or Freeport. For the last couple of months I've been disabling licenses on this server and moving people over to the others. Today, for the first time in years, I turned the server off. I will let the situation stew for a week or two and then tell IS to come pick it up.

Sports & DnD
You know, I've never been involved in sports. I don't even watch. I just can't get excited. I like soccer games because there is a constant tension through the whole game. Americans seem to like high scoring games like basket ball or Football. I cannot imagine Americans putting up with any sport that allows a draw.
So, why am I writing about sports? Well, this Fall, I feel the direct and unmistakable affect of organized sports. It looks like we won't be able to play our normal Saturday DnD game again until spring. Thee are college games every Saturday until December. Most of the people I game with are not that far out of college. They travel to the games at the drop of a hat. I cannot blame them. If I had any liking of travel, I would make some of the geeky conventions.
We are just going to have to drop some people. Ken has a girlfriend. Chris has football. Sarah has her real estate stuff she does on some Saturdays and is working on a new career. Alexis will have school soon. Ethan has a life these days. Adam and Laurie have the "kids" things. Shoey, well, he has stock in hand lotion companies to keep track of.  Brian key takes pictures of scantly clad women and space ships for a living for God's sake. It's no wonder we have a hard time coordinating our efforts.


Something I learned today
Starship: A hole in space you poor money into.

Hey Katelyn, maybe you should take up wrestling after all. A 14 year old girl destroyed an ATM machine in the Ukraine after it ate her card. I feel you pain. She says she took a boxing class and "must have learned a few things."

Star Trek The Next Generation
I'm watching an episode of TNG called "Chain of Command (2)". Season 6 Episode 11.  It is the episode where Picard is tortured by a Kardasian. The Kardasian shows four lights behind him and asks Picard, "How many lights do you see?" Picard answers "Four." Picard is then exposed to great pain. The Kardasian says "There are five lights." The idea here is to break Picard's spirit. I've always considered Patrick Stewart a good actor. He is a bit strange in interviews. This episode, however, is very well done. Stewart really belts it out. You feel he is broken, then at the last moment, the fire appears back in his eyes. The best scene is the very last scene of the show. Picard, back in command of the Enterprise, sits in his ready room with Counselor Troi. He says, at the very last, he believed there were five lights. This episode is better than Star Trek fans deserve.


What is it going to take?
The U. S. is week. We are week. We are politically correct. We have nothing to solidify us. We are incohesive. We frayed apart from the seems some times during the Vietnam War I think. We fell apart. Not since the creation of the country have people been so far apart on goals and the tasks at hand. Then, there were thirteen colonies. Now there are any number of ideologies. The states feel they are on their own. The Feds seem to me to be separating themselves from the rest of the country. I have been raised in this country. I've never left. I've paid attention a little bit to things that go on around me. I don't have the answers. I understand why people hate us so much.
Have you ever watched Fight Club? Did you pay attention too the scene where the two main characters talk about a generation of men raised by women? They create fight club as a collection of men who take matters into their own hands. They beat each other to a pulp on a weekly basis. They make plastic explosives and blow up several buildings. That sounds allot like al Quida to me.
I have to tell you, I feel like a man when I watch Fight Club. I want to sign right up. Of course, it is only a movie. The thought of being a part of something larger than I appeals to me. That is why I signed up with my second job. I have a hard time dealing with the stress of two jobs.  I understand the appeal of the army. I understand the appeal of striving for a common goal. I feel the draw of the pack. Following a leader to the kill. This is how gangs work. This is how al Quida works. This is how military groups work. This is not how the U. S. works. It's a man thing.
Men in the U. S. are raised to be sensitive. We are taught to love our neighbors. That's great, if our neighbor is not a member of a different pack.  Why do they hate us? Who better to hate. They go after the leader of the pack. The "Coalition" of countries is the perfect enemy for a loosely ordered group of people who are not out to win a country, or a people, but to destroy the pack.
This whole thing really is a just a play for dominance. The followers of the clerics (militants) want to be the ones in charge of their part of Iraq or Afghanistan. America wants to stay on top. It is all just a pissing contest.
If they really wanted to wake the giant of America, they would kidnap children off the streets of the us. Then, spirit them away to a shit-hole country and ransom them for money. I think that would be the straw.
Give me a break. I've already heard the "C" word thrown about. I'm listening to the BBC FiveLive griping about how bad the early purchasing situation is going to hurt the economy. It is about time people wised up and just gave each other a kiss and a blessing for Christmas. Spend the week feeding the homeless or handing out your old cloths to those who have none. All I want for Christmas is you to do something for a perfect stranger out of kindness.
My parent's volunteer through their church. They are covered.

Wow, it is nice outside. The humidity is low and the temperature is lower than it has been since last winter. It really is Fall. Some one said the forecast is for jacket weather this weekend. I wonder if it is going to rain. I hope not. Cold i good, but wet and cold spells pneumonia.

Records Retention
We have categories for our email at work. The reason we are forced to put categories on all our email is so we know when to delete it for Document Retention purposes. Thank you Enron. Normally you pick from a drop-down list, but you can type in to the field too. Some poor sap just sent out an official email with "CYA" as the category instead of "FYI". Oops. It is sad really. That caused some chuckles around the office. We don't get out much.

Doomsday Kelly
I've been thinking about renaming the blog to "Doomsday Kelly". I am a pessimist. I call myself a pessimist willingly. I have not excuses, nor do I think I need any. Being a pessimist is legitimate. I have these predictions I make and freely distribute to whomever is near.
My Doomsday Kelly statement of today is as follows.
The U. S. will go bankrupt in the next twenty years because the rest of the world will stop loaning us money or will call in deficits. I'm not sure of the consequences of this, but it will make the country decline in just about every area including a fall in the average American lifestyle. Not every one will be able to afford a car, or a home in the future. I suppose that is not so bad.

Waste of Skin
"Spare Change"
Spike 1000


Mommy and Daddy
Looking for your lost parents is a stressful thing. I'm listening to a radio show talking bout some famous people who have tracked down their parents. One of the first things the people say is if your are looking for a solution, or a mommy or daddy, you should not track down your real parents. You should be in a stable place in your life before you dive in. There is no magic bond between you and the stranger you find. You have to build the relationship.
They took a phone call. This guy was pissed that his natural mother would not talk to him. The people being interviewed had to tell him to respect her wishes. I wanted to smack the guy and tell him "maybe you don't want to know her." I suppose, I can't  say anything. I'm not adopted.

I have been throwing pennies into a cup at my day job for about five years. The polystyrene cup had "Bucket o' pennies" written on the side. I just took the lot over to the cafeteria and dumped them into one of the take a penny leave a penny dishes next to a cash registers. No one was there when I did it. I'm going to have to go by tomorrow and find out if they survive the evening.
I remember coming home and sorting pennies. We had piles for D or plane. We had piles for year. It was maddening. It's gotten to the point I wish they would abolish cash. I will be the first in line for the universal cash card. In Japan, they use prepaid cards and RFID built into their mobile phones to pay for stuff. No one caries cash.

I had no idea there was this much information on the net about shaving your head. It has become quite a statement.
Bald R-Us
Product reviews, forum of sorts, a bald hall of fame. This is the site where I learned there are razer specifically designed to shave your head. I also learned the Gellett Mach 3 is one of the preferred razors. I stumbled on it by chance. This is also where I learned the name Michael Berryman. Remember the picture of the mutant biker from Weird Science? That's him. I had no idea he was in so many movies. Many of the character names read something like "Mutant #3". is my favorite. It is just some guy who tried a bunch of stuff and tells the results. I like that. No motivation, Just facts.


Kerry Military Record Email
A friend of mine sent me an email. I thought it was worth publishing on my blog, but then I found it at this link. Not allot of Kerry lovers on that site. I remember Clinton being accused of shady finances and being a womanizing creep. Kerry is being accused of criminal acts including treason.

Hanging Offense
I'm watching a movie in French called Hanging Offense. Watching movies in my home has the advantage of pausing every fifteen seconds to read the subtitles. It would be impossible to do this in the presents of others. The review is far more interesting than the film so far. I like the cinematography, but I like anything with woods and snow in it these days.
Fifty something year old chubby woman's boobs. That is a first.
Every single shot is that slow zoom in affect. It is really getting old. It is so bad that when the director finally does take a static shot, for a second it seems as though the frame is zooming out. Sad.
Well, that was very French. Lots of loose ends. Not the Hollywood ending. Not bad.


Why didn't I think of that.
A 11 year old boy grabbed the keys to his parent's car and just took off. He ran out of gass and ended up locking himself out of the car. When I was a teen, I just sat there the whole time. I never did anything interesting. I never went to Astro World. I never went to parties. I never found a girlfriend. I just sat there. It is why I do the same now. He was bullied at school. I was bullied at school. I did some bullying as well.
I did nothing. I do nothing. I type. It means nothing. This body is a rental. I don't have a copy of the agreement. Sometimes I wonder if our soles are creatures on vacation. Creatures from a perfect world on vacation. Think of a perfect world. How boring would it be. Everyone lives forever. No one ever dies. Everyone knows everything about everyone else. How boring. The perfect vacation, a short stint as an imperfect being, on an imperfect rock. Victimized, scared, lost, we have no way of knowing we have perfect beings inside us.
When I think about dying, and yes, I think about what happens when we die. I try to picture the tunnel of light. I try to go one second past the loss of consciousness. I hit a brick wall of dark. It is a milky gray nothing. I like to think that I am not aloud beyond this point. I can reach as far out as I dare, I cannot see my hands, I cannot feel my body, not even with my hands. Then I come back to the same place I left. I'm a nerd, so I liken it to a firewall that I cannot pass, yet.
Tonight, I am watching some old movies. Fight Club and Blade Runner. I'm also doing laundry. Oh, and fuck all the women in the world who don't want to be here.
Reuters Photo
Mecico valcano (Reuters) Is this what a volcano is supposed to look like or what? This volcano should get an Oscar.

Google File
Someone wrote a nifty little program that allows you to turn your Gmail space into a drive. You can create folders drag and drop files around. It looks like fun for the whole family.

The second annual Halloween Party is coming up. Costume is mandatory. I went as poperotzy last year, I took a bunch of pictures. I want to do a better job of it this year. I have a few ideas.

Mr Clean
A tight t-shirt and I'm there. (Oh, and about 15 good years in the gym)
Mr Clean
Yul Brenner
Hell of an actor, Died from cancer. He smoked 5 packs a day.r
Yul Brenner
Lex Author
I like Lex. He is a business man who don't take shit off Superman for God's sake.
Lex Luthor
Telly Savalas
I don't know. A lolly pop and "Who loves ya baby!" and I'm there.
Telli Savalas
Jean-Luc Picard
If I had the Borg stuff, this would be great. I bet some one has the uniform for rent.
Jean-Luc Picard borg

Any ideas? I need a suit for the Lex character. I wonder where I can get a Star Trek outfit with some Borg stuff. That might be cool.  Does any one have suggestions?


Email on the Web
If you have your email address published on a web page you need to scramble the code to slow down the advance of dreaded Spam Spiders. There are dozens of ways to do this, but I catch people all the time just throwing their email address all over the Internet and then complaining about the legion of spam they receive.
I had to use the following search words [Scramble email "web page" spam script -program -software example] on Google to find that link. It is amazing how obscure this stuff is. Yet it is a requirement for even beginners in the web world. The real solution for this is to use a dedicated email address that you don't mind abandoning after a wile.

I've never smoked. I've smoked a cigar every two years or so. I've never been to a strip club. I tried to date a dancer once though. It didn't really work out. I've never been to a hooker. I've lost maybe about $200 gambling. I probably drink once a month or less. I haven't gotten sloshed in several years. I don't like taking prescription medicine unless it is really needed. What do I do? I mean, every one else seems to have their thing. I fix computers. That is almost productive. I play video games. I surf the web. I watch SciFi TV shows and movies.

Voice Mail
We have all heard the comedians talk about deliberately calling some one when they are not around so we can leave a voice mail instead of talking straight to them. I like the idea. Why can't I make a voice mail message on my phone and then pick the number, then click send? I think that is why email is so popular. Some one came in to my office this morning and mentioned that she is keeping in touch with several people via Yahoo IM that she would have otherwise lost contact with using conventional means. The nice thing about instant messaging is you can leave a note for some one and they will pick it up when they are in the mood to pick it up (most of the time). If you are just not in the mood to talk, you don't check your email. Of course, now email is work related. I try desperately to keep home and work communications separate. That doesn't always work out.

Misspelled Words
I have gotten more hits off of a jpeg file I named "bald.jpg" than anything else. I've misspelled Kerry as "Karry" and gotten hits. I spelled Martigra as "Martigraw" and bada-bing, hits. Proper spelling may not always pay off. I'm going to start naming all my jpg files after body parts.

Things I Learned on My Friday is not blocked at my day job.
A tribute to Rodney Dangerfield is not funny.
Convicted felons may get four conjugal visits a year. I get zero. hmmm, where is my list?


There are two new women I find myself interested in. There is no spark. I want to talk to them, but I have this tremendous fear of them becoming friends. They will sit there and bitch about boyfriends or their car and pull that woman shit about not wanting a solution, just wanting to bitch. Christ! I'm getting sick of women using me as a sounding board. It is no wonder why people go to singles bars and hook up for sex. It is no wonder why men go to hookers. It is not the sex. It is the sex without the bitching.
One of the women has a kid and a crappy job. She has family problems that are completely legitimate. She has trouble making ends meet. She wants to go to school. She wants a nice house, in a nice neighborhood. That all makes sense. I'm not going to provide any of that for her. Why must she dump it all on me?
The other woman I have hardly spoken three words too. She is a friend of a friend. She has no idea I have any interest. For some reason I just can't bring myself to strike up a conversation because I can't stand the idea of her becoming another friend. The five or so times I turn to ask her for a phone number or even an email or something, I picture myself sitting there listening to her complain about bad sex. I Haven't had sex in like three years. The only bad sex is no sex.
I missed something along the way. I didn't learn how to flirt. I didn't learn how to play the game. I was taught morals or something. I cannot bring myself to sleep around. I cannot bring myself to pay for sex. I want the love. I want the bad breath in the first kiss in the morning. I want the time listening to each other breath on the phone because we ran out of things to say, but don't want to hang up.
Is that too much?
Women suck. I give up.
The DSL is back up. The pictures should be working again. The bastards at SBC have more customers in Dallas, so they get the fix first. Houston was last on the list.  Houston is always getting disrespect.


Artist: Mindy Smith [ Search RP ]
Song: Jolene
Album: One Moment More [ Search RP ]

Artist: Wall Of Voodoo [ Search RP ]
Song: Mexican Radio
Album: Alterno-Daze - Survival Of The 80's Fittest [ Search RP ]

James brings in a thermos of coffee from home most days. He offers me a cup every now and then. It is good stuff  Starbucks beans Breakfast Blend is the name. He has ruined me for the free swill at my office. They want a dollar in the cafeteria for a cup of OK coffee. The stuff James brings in is good enough to drink straight. Normally I have to add a kilogram of sugar to the office stuff just to choke it down.

Car Bombs
Some one asked why there have not been car bombs in the U. S.. I reminded them about the first attack on the towers in New York in 1993 I believe. Some one parked a truck in the underground parking and it detonated causing damage to a support, but not so much that it could not be repaired. Remember also, the Oklahoma City bombing was from a stolen Ryder truck. Earlier this year, a tanker truck full of nasty chemicals disappeared for a while and a nation wide alert went up. If memory serves it turned out to be some kind of paperwork mistake. I'm glad they err on the side of caution.
I worry about suicide bombers. I know there is a problem in this country with people who wish to commit suicide. There are so many it seems. I know Islam frowns on suicide quite abruptly. Muslim countries have low suicide rates. Muslim countries also seem to have a broad divide between classes. I know Islam has very broad lines not to cross. I think that is why it is such a popular religion. That and it says something like "Have as many children as you can afford and no less." I wish I knew the details better. I don't even know Christianity that well. So, why are there no Christians blowing themselves up in the name of religious whatever? Christianity has the Pope to say "This is right, and that is wrong." Judaism has a counsel of Rabbis (I cannot remember the name) who define or interpret Jewish Law. From my understanding, limited I admit, there is no central rule interpreting body for Islam. Islam has the Koran, but it seems as though many local clerics have followings of their own. Without a high authority where the buck stops on decision making, you get several distinct interpretations of everything.
Perhaps the difference is economic. I have no figures, but I bet most of the suicide bombers from Israel are not at the top of the food chain when it comes to cash. I've read only a little about everyday life in the Palestinian territories. It sounds like a hard life. If you ask me, a hard life makes you less likely to commit suicide. You get tough early in a place where everything is difficult.
Perhaps it is social. Again, my understanding is limited, but I believe most marriages in the Middle Easter Muslim majority states are arranged. I've heard it said your whole life is laid out in front of you. You are not expected to change your social position in the culture (if you are poor you are expected to stay poor). When you die, it is considered destiny. You have no free will in the major things in your life. I can understand that if someone doesn't like the plan in front of them, they might ponder the choice of dying for a cause.

Israeli Air Force Lands on One Wing
This is a pretty cool story about an F-15 pilot managing to land after one of the wings of his jet was torn off in a mid-air collision. The picture is not really that impressive until you read the accounts. I had a daydream once where I landed an A10 Warthog with one engine blown off. This reality out does my daydream.
F-15 with missing right wing


My DSL is on the fritz. Many pictures will not load properly on this blog until it is back up.

Arabic Names

People who are from the Middle east (or the far east for that matter) should understand that Americans are not going to have a clue how to spell their name when they leave a voice mail. At my day job we have a phone book program that is maintained by the people on the ground. Every one has to maintain their own information. The phone field is free entry limited to numbers, spaces dashes and parenthesis. When some one with eleven consonants and one vowel in their name leaves me a phone message I have to look them up based on their phone number  I have to try all combinations of crap.

XXX XXXXXXX <- the one that broke the camels back today.

Today, I just called the person and asked them for their user ID. Tomorrow I'll find five new ways people want to put a frigging phone number in to a field. This is a VB form. VB forms allow for forcing a method of entry. The problem is international numbers. They probably had limits on the field and international numbers blew their minds. Here are a couple of examples from memory. Usually country code followed by a bunch of numbers.

XX-XXXXXXXXXXX <- my personal favorite.

I'm,not going into all the combinations of spaces and parenthesis for those. You can do the math.


At my day job we have this printer. It is just sitting there not getting used. Apparently no one has called it in. No one has called to tell them to haul it off. I bet my company is still paying a huge lease on it. My dilemma is, whether I pull a Wally and ignore it, go use a different printer like every one else. Or, do I pull a Dilbert and try to have the printer fixed or removed?
Silly me is pulling the Dilbert. I don't know where this printer came from or who is paying for it. I just want to stir up shit.

Something I learned today
From Anna (banana) (Anna, if you had a web page I'd link to your here.)
<Anna Start>
Question: Is marine life killed or injured when lightning strikes in an ocean? When lightning hits open water, the current is able to travel through the water quite well. How far away the dangerous current travels is not known, but it's probably on the order of tens of yards. At and very near the strike point--within a few yards--current enters the body of a living organization, resulting in injury or death. At greater distances, the effects are less, so that the current might stun an organism but not kill it. There are few reports of massive fish kills. It may be that there are not too many fish in any single volume in the affected water, they may recover quickly, or maybe larger fish eat the incapacitated fish.
<Anna End>
Her source.

My mom wants to do computer work out of the house. Secretarial type stuff. She asked me how much I would pay for that kind of work. I sent her the following answer.
We would send most of the outsourced jobs overseas. We still have to pay insurance and social on you even if you are not on the property. In India, people will work for $5 an hour (total out of pocket, not the person's salary) for low tech work. For example, my bill out rate here at my company is $105 an hour. I get $20. The bill out in the Philippines for the same job is $13 an hour and they have a degree. How am I supposed to compete with that?


God is Not Cruel
So, why do I feel so miserable? It has to be my own doing. The limited free will God has granted me is an illusion. It is just to prove that there is no such thing as free will.  I believe that is what I was here to learn. I'm done now, thank you. Everything that happens from now on is purely God's will. I surrender. I don't know just how to do this, but it should be fun  finding out.
There is no reason for me feeling like this. My life is pretty good. I can't shake it. I don't understand. It is all I can do to tread water. My insurance does not cover psych. I feel like I've been broken, like torture victims or something. Now, I'm just waiting for everything to fall apart.
I whine allot about not having a relationship. The first six or so weeks of a relationship is the only part that is worth having in my experience. Everything after that is a pain in the ass. I hope I'm proven some point. Truth, I know, is a relationship is the last thing I need right now. It would be more trouble than it is worth.
I look forward to going to work. It is an ordered environment. I know what to do next most of the time. I sometimes get a sense of accomplishment there. I think that is why I have such a hard time with my evening job. I don't know what I'm doing there. I'm supposed to be the decision maker and to be frank, I'm not very good at it.
Yet, I have no idea how to proceed. I'm lost. Well, that's OK because I'm letting God handle it.  I'm going to put one foot in front of the other and know that I'm walking where I'm supposed to.
(Please don't give any advice. I'm just venting.)

Another Point of View
This is Cynthia's comments on my personal profile I put up a couple of days ago.
<Cynthia Start>
For your dating profile, let's try this instead:
I am 35, 5'10", 200 lb (last Doctor's visit).
I enjoy computers, the outdoors, and intelligent bantering conversation.  I have had plenty of time to sort through my career and what I want in a relationship; all I need now is somebody special with whom to share my days.  You will find that I am passionate about the things that are important to me and cannot easily be bothered by the things that aren't.
The woman for me is independent but open to letting someone like myself into her heart.  She understands when I lament that Farscape was canceled for political reasons, and even if she doesn't identify with the first thing about my interests she is as willing to learn about them as I am about her.  If you have ever wanted to have someone who would respect you as a person while showing you the love you deserve, I'm the man for you.
Better?  It's the same stuff, put differently.
<Cynthia End>
Tank Play
This photo is an Israeli tank. It appears to be parked deliberately to give the soldiers cover. This is a precarious position. The tank below appears to be an M1-A1 Abrams. A big, wide tank.
Israel tank Reuters

This is a smaller tank that may have very well been performing a similar maneuver. This is a smaller and thinner tank. The caption said workers had to dig the crew out.
upsidedown tank from wrecked exotics

I listen to FiveLive on the BBC nearly every day at work. They are in Houston this morning. Simon Mayo is at Rice University asking people about George Bush an the politics in general. They have some people on who seem to know Texas. He was saying "whoston" a minute ago. Some one finally corrected him. I think they are in Austin tomorrow.
I had to stop listening. They kept talking to these liberal college students.

I have to say, I can't find Palestine on a map. not even a map from many moons ago. I'm trying to find historic reference. Were there other names used? I've met at least one person who calls her self a Palestinian. I want to know more.

It's starting to look like France is getting a bitter taste of terrorism. I've heard several sources say that thee insurgents, terrorists, kidnappers, or whatever you call thee evil criminals, only respect strength. The French are having a tough time using diplomacy with people who pay a year's salary for an AK, the country is a wash with RPGs, yet, there is no choice, no freedom of the smallest kind. If these people had their way women would be property, with no vote, no choice, no rights. These are the people you are trying to reason with. One of the media jocks in Iraq said people on the street say things were better under Saddam. They would trade freedom for order in a minute. I can understand. These people were broken by Saddam long ago. Twenty five years, any individual thought, any individual action could lead you to a death sentence and your family to ruin. Things must change. Will they? Not as long as countries like France and the Philippines won't show one ounce of courage in the face of adversity.


Something I learned today
I actually knew this already. I just ran across it today again and had to sort of re-learn it.
"The data looks good." is incorrect.
"The data look good." is correct.
"Data" is plural. "Datum" is singular.
I ran across this in a news story about the Space Shuttle and the space station. It just didn't sound right (I had my computer reading the story to me).  But,  I ran over it in my head a couple of times. It is one of those brain cells you have to wake up every couple of years.

Israel Targets Hamas Leader.
You know, they should just leave that headline up 24/7. Israel seems to be on a mission. To be honest, I hope the get ever last one of the fuckers. Yes, I've chosen a side.

Writer's Block
I don't have much to say, Lets find out what other's opinions are today.
My GOD!!

A sane person in high school, and they have a blog. It's a miracle. Behold!! the one "normal" among us bloggers.

Mt. St Helends
Here is a blog of some one who lives there now and lived there then.

I'm not the most conservative bloggers.
I like this bloggers. This person proves I'm not the most conservative blogger out there.  I'll be checking back to this blog for further details.
What a crappy weekend. I didn't see a girl I have a crush on. I was in far to bad a mood to go to Jen's CD party. I've ordered food twice. I haven't ventured outside long enough to drop off my rent check.  I can't wait until work tomorrow.


New Money
50 dollar bill (CNN) low res
This is a story in CNN about detouring counterfeiters by adding code to hardware and software. The code prevents scanners and some digital editing software from manipulating images that look too much like American currency. The U. S. government is understandably keeping a lid on how the system works exactly.  I have a few questions.
* What if I scan/printing at an angle?
* What if I manipulate the colors of the bill first?
* What if I have an ope source scanning software?
* Do other countries do the same thing with their currency?

Jen's Gig
Jen Rathbun's CD party is tonight. Her second CD. This one is jazzy. I like the sound.  It's at a place called JP Hopis House on Highway 6 near Westhimer. Starts at 9:00 C'ya there.

I have been looking for theses. My mouse gets gummed up and the little pads on the bottom ware out after a while. Why buy a whole new mouse? Get these and repair dozens of mice.