Fear of being afraid

All my life I've been afraid of looking forward to something and then being disappointed. It has made me in to a pessimist. That is bad. That holds me back. I should not let it. I should have stayed in school. I should have made things work long ago.

In a precious few weeks, Faire starts up. I refuse to let myself thinking it will be anything but wonderful. It will be magic. Just like it has been time and again. Just like it will be once more. I must work through the pain. I must find my way in the dark and make the dark mine, wield it.

The rain, the cold, the people and the anger will not stop me from enjoying this season.

I'm tired of being afraid. I'm not a super hero. I'm not even a strong man. I'm tired of being afraid. I stand and curse the ground for holding me up. Well, not this time. I'm sick of it. I'm tired of being afraid.