A friend's loss

Tony's father passed away last night (Saturday). Nat and I heard about it this afternoon. We ran out to Christal and Tony's place. It was painful to know that such a loved man has gone. Philip's wife is of course devastated. They have been together forever. They have family and friends all trying to help out. Tony was on assignment in Pakistan. He was only able to call this evening to tell every one he was stuck in the airport trying to get a flight back. It wasn't until late this evening that he found a flight out. I have no idea how.

I didn't know Philip, Tony's dad, very well at all. I met him once or twice in passing really. He let us have some barbecues on his property. The whole family seemed inviting to me. He did one thing for me. I never asked him, but he knew what needed to be done and just did it. He saw me struggle walking through some underbrush on his property and he broke out the bulldozer to cut a trail between the two fields. He said "It needed to be done." I thank him for it regardless.

Today, it scares me how useless I felt. It didn't seem like we had any way to help. So ... We shucked peas. Don't tell any one, but The whole house sat there and shucked peas for well over an hour. The men in one room and the women in another, we pulled peas out of the little husks they come in from the ground. It felt like a family.  We (the guys) heard the girls cracking jokes in the other room and they (the girls) said the same about us guys. There was a huge trash bag of picked peas and we had shucked them all in no time. Now they have to blanch, dry, and freeze them.

I learned how to shuck peas today. I learned it can make you feel like part of a family too. I understand how Mexican women feel when they have the tamale gatherings. I understand how a family comes together a bit better. I've never had the extended family of my own. I have adopted the group of CB/Faire folks. More like they have adopted me. It is interesting to be part of an extended family like this. It hurts when someone's father, someone's husband who you love has to go.

I had a post recently about bad things happening to people around me. It is normal stuff. It hurts, but people are borne. People die. People live their lives. I hope there is no truth to the "These things happen in threes." crap. I don't want to loose any friends.