Sunday
I spent most of today sitting in my apartment thinking about the future. I went for coffee with some friends earlier. The world just keeps turning. Every one has their life. How do we all not just kill each other? It has to be the threat of retaliation. In the U. S. we have the law enforcement agencies to ensure retaliation for crime committed against us. I bet you never thought of it that way before. The police and judicial system are here to ensure revenge on an ordered and predictable scale. Even when the cops guard something or there is private security, the thought of getting caught and receiving punishment is what holds most at bay. Harsh penalties is not what detunes crime. It is a guarantee that you will get caught. Even if the punishment is not high, people will not do a crime if they know they are being watched or know they will be caught no matter what. I read that somewhere. I hate not having a citation.
So I get back from my coffee expedition and I look around my apartment. I just don't feel at home here. The world just doesn't feel like the place I'm supposed to be. I don't think I was meant for anything better. I just think there was something different with my name on it and I got shuffled at the last minute. I have no idea what it could have been. My apartment is empty. The neighbors are noisy. The neighborhood is going down hill fast. I wish it would rain. I like it when it rains. Does any one out there know what I should have been?

Olympics
They are over. Thank God. Now I have to deal with the Republican Convention. I didn't watch the Democrats. I'm not watching the Republicans. I didn't watch the Olympics. I don't watch sports. People are watching less TV these days. I am one of those who may have it playing in the background (like right now), but I'm only using it to drown out the neighbors and their urban bullshit form of expression. The only thing I sit down and watch are the Simpsons, and every once in a while the news. I can't stand local news. They have a hard time competing with world news, so they have to blow everything out of proportion. I spend most of my time these days working, or listening to radio. Normally I would read a book (most likely on the computer), but I haven't gotten that done lately either. I do continue to write in the blog. I can't seem to give that up. It is a bit of an obsession.
I remember growing up and thinking there was not much for me on this Earth. I just had no idea what was destine for me. I still have no idea. There is no buss full of children to save. There is no women to save. There is no company or country to save. There is just me. There is just the world around me. There is just the sun, Earth and life. None of it makes any sense. Is it supposed to make sense?  There has got to be more than this. I might be alive for another fifty years. This is going to add up to a long boring blog.