Friday the Thirteenth
I went out back for lunch today. Every one seemed to bale on me for lunch. I went to the cafeteria. I don't mind. The food is OK. They have pick-nick tables out amongst the trees. One of these days I'll publish some pictures, but I'll have to wait until the company moves, because they are touchy about pictures. It was wonderful. The weather is really nice lately because there are two hurricanes slamming the East coast. I have to say this feels like un-August. While I was sitting out there, I noticed the Sun light filtering down through the dense trees. The ground hardly shown any light. As I looked up from the ground to the top of the trees, the speckles of light seem to float. The light changes every few moments as the Sun crosses above. The leaves blow gently and change the light. It makes me think of chaoss theory. Chaoss theory makes me think of the stock market. We might as well bet on the sun shining one the leaves. You cannot judge the future of the whole based on the part, or vise versa. The stock market moves just as mysteriously. You think "I can watch the trees and predict where they will grow and how they will filter the light." Well, you can study the companies and predict how they will grow and make money. So, why doesn't every one win with the stock market? Because it is gambling.

From Iraq
I don't know exactly where the person found this.

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You know you've been in Baghdad too long if:

GENERAL
You start to think "it's not so bad here"
You say "this place sort of grows on you"
You say "it's not the humidity, it's the heat" (Houston residents only)
You say, "it feels cooler today" and find out that the temperature is 105.
The term "trailer trash" is a term of endearment
You think "DVD Mista" is a friendly greeting
You call your tent (trailer if you're lucky) 'home'
A "weekend" lasts from 0730 to 1200 on Friday (What about 0730 to 1000)
You get excited at the idea of ICE

You don't jump when a door slams or someone drops something
You aren't alarmed when every second person you see has a gun . . . or two . . . or three
You kick the M-16 on the floor aside without a second thought when you sit down to eat in the Dining Facility.
A Gloc or 9 mm on a lady's hip is considered sexy
Mortars and rockets sounds are "okay" compared to Vehicle bombs (IED's)
You can measure distances based on explosion sounds
"Scoring" means you acquired a new weapon

TRAVEL
You go to Fallujah and Mosul for R&R
You are soothed by the sounds of helicopters flying six feet over your trailer
You automatically get down on your hands and knees in the dirt to inspect the underside of your car, even when you are wearing a suit or skirt
Bullet holes in cars are no longer alarming
Car selections consist of "hard" or "soft", not Cadillac or Mercedes
Road trips consist of 6 vehicles and large caliber weapons
Driving on the sidewalk is normal.
Driving on the wrong side of a divided four lane street is normal
Driving 60 mph through a bustling street market is considered prudent
Hit-and-run fender benders are treated as mere warnings
Riding in a hot Humvee is preferred to an air-conditioned soft car
You get upset that you don't get C-130 Frequent Flyer Miles
Your carry-on luggage includes a flack jacket and helmet

HYGIENE
You enjoy waiting 45 minutes for the toilets to refill
You start believing that Deodorant should be a personal choice
KBR buzz cuts begin to look stylish

SURROUNDINGS
 "Texas Barriers" are something other than a device to keep Texans out
"Jersey Barriers" are something other than fences to keep Holsteins away from Jerseys
You begin to believe that project construction being blown up only twice a week is progress

You get excited with the presence of clouds
You know ten times as many South Africans as you've ever known before
The security guards are Ghurka or South African and you know them
Afrikaans at the pool is normal

DINING
You look forward to Mohammad's Mango ice cream as the treat for the day
Powdered eggs taste ok
You consider plastic ware the Palace China
You can distinguish inherent qualities of various plastic utensils
The quality of the plastics utensils becomes a hot dinner topic
Having to separate plastic plates causes you undue stress
Lettuce for your salad becomes a luxury
Scamming a 3rd can of soda makes you feel like you got even with someone
You are putting on weight because the Saddam's Revenge Diet no longer works
Going to another mess hall is an adventure

FASHION
You think desert combat boots look great with a dark blue suit or shorts
Sand between your thong sandals actually feels good
The color white is no longer an option
Speedos for security guards seem right
You can recognize 12 different camouflage patterns
You've given up on shoe polish

LIVING CONDITIONS
You get a big smile when you see your pressed clothes at the KBR laundry
You get a bigger smile knowing they didn't lose your laundry
You think the bullet holes in the roof of your trailer is just another form of ventilation.
You get upset because the post office won't ship your looted artifacts
You haven't had water from anything other than a bottle for months on end
You consider broken sandbags just a new beach expansion
The idea of a double wide is only for the fortunate
Forgetting your badge makes you feel naked...but pants are optional
A bootleg of the new stateside release is not available at the PX 2 days later
"Only one rocket has hit the Palace" is excellent news
Cardboard boxes have become substantial pieces of furniture

COMMUNICATION
Stars & Stripes seems to be a liberal newspaper
Acronyms become the acceptable language
It feels normal to have to run outside to make a cell phone call
You call your coworkers on a cell phone as soon as new T-shirt patterns arrive at the PX
"Can you hear me" takes up 50% of your cellular telephone conversations
You realize it is Saturday or Sunday because no one from DC phones

Baghdad
August, 2004
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