Tired

I walked in this morning and found the door locked. One of the other guys named John was already waiting. We talked about how we both feel burned out a bit. The long hours and crushing deadlines have taken their toll. They are still exacting a price. My job is not done. We made something that is good and it must be better. The developers, testers, packagers, we have worked hard. Our job is never done.

Software is never done. It is an evolving work of effort that is simply captured in a state and distributed, then left to sit or continued until the next state is achieved. Projects do not end, they are replaced by higher priorities.

The stress level at our company never hits zero. There is nothing resembling down time at any moment. I've heard that some places where my friends work are in a state of "go slow" waiting for the economy or people or whatever limiting factor holds the rains at the moment. That will not happen here. Not today. That is not how things work here.  Maybe that is a good thing. God, help me, it is a strain.

There is an old saying "I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired." That is true. This morning I came in with a headache. I started to feel just plane sick by mid morning. Nat is taking Elle in to the doctor because Elle is showing signs of being sick. A child died of Swine Flue this morning in Houston. People are throwing the term "pandemic" around. The markets don't seem to be too upset about it yet. That is very important to many people. I'm not sure I care. Europe has issued a warning to people traveling to the U. S. or Mexico.

I do miss doing one thing at a time and attempting to get it right. I know that this multitasking causes me to make more mistakes. If five people walk in my office and demand things done, I have no authority to tell them that I must get something else done first. There is no way to appeal decisions made by others. I have no control over my destiny or the complexity of my tasks. It makes for stress and loss of productivity. I'm not the only one who feels this way.