Time
I setup software for install off the network. I got this CD from some guys who swore they had an intern who had installed it all over the place. "Oh, it's a piece of cake." When I tried to get it to work using the exact same instructions the intern wrote, I got all kinds of errors. I asked if the intern could spend some time with me to get things worked out. You know what? It's six months later and they finally admit, the intern got the 2002 version of the software to work great. They gave me the 2003 version. That version has some problems. May I have three days added to my life please?

Calls
I screen my calls. I have all the ringers turned off in the house. If you don't leave message, you will never get in touch with me. I screen my email. I don't answer my mobile until I check who is calling. I don't answer my phone at work unless I'm ready to take calls. Email at work is a bit better. If it weren't for email there would be no work done at the company I work for. Email is the preferred form of communication.
We have records retention policy (thank you Enron) that says we must assign a kill date for everything. The deal is, you put yesterday's date on everything and you are required to destroy it before you can do the task. I'm working on a script that would force the dates on everything on the network forward a year and trigger a mass shredding of data. All the backup tapes would automatically purge themselves. All the file shares would purge. If it happened over a long holiday, it could through off decades of data in a couple of hours. I'm kidding of course. At least, about me writing the script. I have not interest in harming the company I work for or any other. There are precious few time servers in North America.