Dracula
I just read Dracula. The original book by Bram Stoker. I understand why the movie recently was so difficult to sink into. The story seemed like bits slopped together. Well, the book is written in the form of journal entries and letters. I have to say, the book is far better at it than the movie. There are several distinct styles. No one character dominates. It is a good read.

My Funeral Arangements
I've given it at least fifteen minutes of thought and I've come up with my funeral arrangements. The plan requires the utmost secrecy, so shhhhh.
First, the corps is to be displayed as normal, open coffin, with the chest area, hands crossed, open. At a point in the middle of some one's words, a group of Duster clad, armed men is to burst in and take the room hostage. When people are ordered to stand away from the "Hell-Spawn", a man dressed much like Van Helsing is to march down the middle of the room and drive a large wooden stake through my heart. Just as his first blow rings true, a blood curdling screech is to emanate from the coffin and the body is to be made to lurch. Upon subsequent blows, smoke is to rise from the corps as the sound fades to a dull moan of anguish. At the last thunderous drop of the sledge, coffin, corps and all is to burst into flame. Van Helsing turns and exits as he came in, with a fast, business confident gate. His company are to storm from the place as he exits. They shout "God have mercy on his sole!"
How is that for an exit?