I ...

I am not a daredevil. I do not have the killer instinct. It doesn’t have anything to do with my being unable to see as well as others. I learned a long time ago I just am not a dominant human. I’m not submissive either. That is probably why I have never been able to get laid.

I do not feel like ever bungee jumping. I imagine getting detached retinas as the bungee pulls tight or my bones snagging on one another. I might puke or scream like a little girl or something equally horrid on the way down.

I will never feel the urge to leap from a perfectly functional aircraft. This activity makes sense to me. I get why others do it or just want to try it. I don’t have a philosophical issue with skydiving, but I cannot picture myself doing it, or even sitting still while someone else tries to push me from said aircraft.

I would do a zipline, but I would have to start with a baby one and work my way up to something cool. The videos I’ve seen of people doing this tells me it is fun. I mean, you don’t really disconnect without someone grabbing you. Maybe someday.

I’ll never swim with the sharks. This one is the one where I yell at the screen and call the brave soles taunting sharks with a stick in their hand and a camera strapped to their head. I call them names and root for the be-toothed forces of nature.

Nor will I free-climb or parkour without being chased by something even more dangerous. A bear could chase me up a wall. I’ve climbed trees as a kid. I’ve climbed easy trees as an adult. That is not what I’m talking about. You have seen the videos of people leaping from balcony to window ledge.

I cross streets. That is my poison. I do not enjoy it. I do it because I must. I bet if most of these thrill seekers had to cross a busy street without being able to see very well, it would cure them.