Feeling God

I heard a story on NPR about Mother Teressa. She had several decades where she just didn't feel the presence of God. She stuck to her guns. She till believed. She just didn't feel it. There are times I just don't feel it. I go through the motions and do the next thing. Mother Teressa did all her hard work for so long caring for the poor, teaching people faith.

I've been preying all day for help with our marriage, finances parenthood, the whole bit. I go over it in my head and I have irrational fears of loosing the house, car, we can't go to faire. I want to give up and spend my last dollar on lottery tickets. I pray some more. I ask God for strength. Then I get to work and do the next thing. I do my time sheet. I pray again. No overtime.

I started to say a prayer for Mother Teressa, and just as the thoughts leave my mind, I get the over whelming feeling "Don't worry about Mother Teressa."  ... Well, OK. Felt a little God there.

I have always had a great relationship with God. I asked a long time ago for God to interfere in my life on purpose. And, I think God has done so. I have had things happen to me where that same feeling or inner voice bubbles up and tels me what to do. That is great. I attributed it to God. Talk to God all the time. I believe in God whole heatedly. I do not believe in religion. I have a theory, and a blog to put that theory on. so, here goes.

Learn everything you can about all religions. find out things about dead religions. don't pay any attention to how old, or how many people each religion touts. Talk to people who ware thick glasses and find out what they think. Then don't listen to them. Talk to your friends. Then, don't listen to them. Talk to your family, then ignore what they say. Wonder in the darkness. Wonder in the light. Have a cup of coffee. Watch some cartoons. Thank God for all of it. Then, go do some chores. come back and think about it. Then, don't listen to what you say. Sleep on it.

When you get up the next day try Buddhism. I've like Buddhism this week because it allows you to take part in other religions as long as they are not violent (so much for Islam-supremacist folks) and no one gets in trouble. I like that because you can basically show up to all the family stuff and chant the party line to your parents, go to your girlfriend's place and put up with her Witch friends. Then tell your friends you are an Atheist. You can say you are a Buddhist on forms. I call this pollybullshitism.

Again, I do not believe in religion. I believe in God. I know God. I believe that religion was originally designed as a way to control people on mass. In post caveman days One only had contact with people other than your neighbors when one went to church. That may have been an entire life. Let's cover the basic commandments for most religions, shall we.

• Don't kill people (except in specific situations)
• Don't dittle other folks wives/husbands.
• Don't listen to other religions. (self serving)
• Don't eat [insert food type here] because it is unclean.

These are all things that stir up shit amongst small communities. There are few commandments against war or polluting or using up natural resources too quickly yadda yadda.

Today I like religions that teach. Teach what? Well, I have no idea. I like learning is all. I think the Matrix is about as likely to be "right" as any registered religion. I don't like reincarnation because I do not want to come back once I'm done. I wonder sometimes if I'm really some alien who paid to come to this planet as some kind of vacation. I want my money back. Reminds me of an episode of Red Dwarf.

What is the answer? Well, faith is the answer. I believe that people need something to believe in. I know I need something like that. If you question your faith then there is not much faith there. There is nothing permanent in this world. All things will eventually come to an end. The universe itself will go poof one day. I believe that God is still there. I would ask that we be there too, queuing for the bus to get to the next universe.