No computer, no DSL
I'm going nuts. I've had no DSL or even a computer at the new apartment. I don't get it hooked up until the sixth, but even then, they never get it right on the first try.

My baby made me breakfast
Nat made eggs and bacon this morning  She did it for Elle before and decided to make extra for me this morning. She was standing at the stove wielding the only skillet she could find in the yet packed apartment. She was waring a snazzy purple bath robe. I felt so 1950s.

Mom and Nat
I can't find anything in the new apartment. I started using Nat's razer because mine is missing in action. It turns out Nat and my Mom have plotted against me. They have conspired a plan to get me to use skin care stuff and one of those "loofa" do-hickeys. What am I supposed to do? They are ganging up on me. Cynthia would be so proud.

What-Mart kid's carts.
Now I have one more reasoner to hate Wal-Mart. They have these goofy looking carts that look like a huge toy. They have music playing in the cab and have some sort of RFID because the wheels lock if you try to take it out of one of the store doors. If it stopped there, that would be no big deal. The trouble is, Elle wants to ride on one of these contraptions every time we go to Wal-Mart It costs $1 to rent one. As a cart, it sucks. Elle sits ether going "eh.. eh...eh...eh...eh...eh...eh. eh" and points every time we pass one in the store. I'm worried she will start in when we go to the grocery store, or Target or something. I had to carry her the last trip to Wal-Mart because she refused to get in the regular cart. I should sue for back strain. I wish I had a picture.

Fits and parenthood.
I've done some things wrong. I've done some things right. It is a learning curve. Nat and I discuss our strategies with the young one. Elle is far too smart for our good. We got a new child safety gate. She hates the frigging thing. She has been throwing a fit at bed time. The gate lets us keep her in sight during these actions. It is the most frustrating thing I've ever dealt with in my life. The ironic thing is that the most effective method of dealing with her is to reason with her. Stay calm. Tell her what you are about to do before you do it. "If you get out of that bed again I'm just going to pick you up and put you right back in." That works like the twelfth time she scoots her butt sideways while balling at the top of her lungs. She is a level 19 squirm master. Nat and I have decided she will grow up to be an escape artist.

Adam's rant on the word "Soul Mate"

Pet peeve time. I hate the term "soul mate". There I said it.  I *hate* the term "soul mate".  It feels good saying it again. Why do I hate that word?  Let me outline the reasons: o  It is a term created because people think that the word "love" lacks enough commitment for them. o  Somehow "you are my soul mate" trumps "I love you".  Which is poppycock. o  So if you are soul mates with someone that means you are married even after you are dead!  Its like the ole ball and chain is chasing you into the afterlife.  Is nothing sacred? o  It was popularized in new-agey California. o  It sounds like a competing brand of oder-eaters.  (I know, I already used that quip in a previous email.  Going back to the well here.) o  Like ghosts can fuck.