Joke
To impress a woman:
Wine her. 
Dine her. 
Call her. 
Hold her. 
Surprise her. 
Compliment her.  
Smile at her. 
Listen to her. 
Laugh with her. 
Cry with her. 
Romance  her.
Encourage her. 
Believe in her. 
Pray with her. 
Pray for her. 
Cuddle  with her. 
Shop with her. 
Give her jewelry. 
Buy her flowers. 
Hold her hand.
Write love letters to her.
Go to the ends of the earth and back again for  her. <>

To impress a man:
Show up naked.
Bring chicken wings.
Don't block the TV

Christmas
I haven't decided what to do about Christmas. I don't know what to get any one, or if I'm going to get anything. Christmas i a fun time for kids. I'm 35. I'm old. I'm tired of worrying about it. Lets go to mass and have done with it.
Then I think about all the fun we had a couple of years ago. My parents and I said it was going to be a lean year. I bought them a play station and a remote control truck. They loved it. My mom to this day chases the dogs around with the truck. The dogs are smaller than the RC. I'm not sure what is going to happen this year. The earlier they start playing Christmas music and putting up Christmas decorations, the more anti-commercial I become. Thanksgiving is next week. I've already become sick of the whole Wal-Mart Christmas world. Hopefully I can pull myself out of it.

Language
I agree with this language expert. The English language is falling apart because of managers and people trying to sound committed when they are actually saying nothing.