Saturday Afternoon
So, I'm sitting at home on a Saturday afternoon and my buddy calls. He has BuzzFest tickets. BuzzFest is a promotional thing done by a local radio station who call themselves The Buzz. They suck just like all Clear Channel radio these days. I remember BuzzFest as a happening event. I remember the crowds and the trouble. I've never been, I've just heard about it. I'm sitting at home and thinking about the traffic and the parking and the people. Mostly the people. Only Drunk Red-necks how up to the BuzzFest. I just don't want to deal with them. There are a bunch of pretty girls, and some cool bands, but the drunk assholes are just too much to deal with. I say no to my buddy. He tells me he has stage passes. That is worse. I say no. I tell him i need to work on my database schema. I do need to work on it, but it is an excuse. If he had just asked me to lunch we could have gone to a sports bar somewhere and swapped likes about our sexual conquests, but no. He wants to go to BuzzFest. Screw BuzzFest.
Another buddy called about lunch, but his wife needs the car. What's the deal? I just want to go to lunch. I should lighten up.

One Haunting Memory
Several years ago while buying drink at the Texas Renaissance Festival, I stumbled across the most beautiful woman in the world. I walked up to order my a drink and she looked me in the eye. She said something and I just stared at her for a moment. In that moment I realized how easy it would be to never know my next breath, if I never lifted my foot from that spot, how easily I could ignore Death's reaper against my neck, just to hold her glance for another heartbeat. It isn't the girl who I remember really. It is that lost moment. Life is moments. People say to live life as though every day is your last. I can't do that. I regret that and many more moments in my life. I've heard that dying people don't regret the things they do, they regret the things they didn't do. I haven't done so many things I should have. I should have smiled with that girl and maybe fallen in love. I should have worked harder at school. i should have worked harder when I was a child and people wanted to help me with my social skills. Now I cannot open up to a person. I must desperately shout the entire internet. There is no one to blame. Not even me. It just happened.

Another Memory
I used to walk up the Sam Houston Beltway on my way to work. I ride the bus and in Houston, you walk when you ride the bus. That is another blog. I get to work early so It was dark on this particular morning. A man in a small car flashed his high beams at me and swerved funny. He went around the loop (took four lefts) and caught me just before I hit the parking lot of my office. he pulled a pistol and yelled at me for about five minutes. He claimed to be a cop, but I don't believe him. His eyes were bloodshot. My knees shook I looked him right in the eye and spoke in a monotone voice. God was with me. I made a police report. I am legally blind so I couldn't get a license plate. I wouldn't be any good in court as a witness anyway. There is really no reason for it. It just happened.

Tom Waits
Tom Waits was on PBS this evening. Wow! What a performance. No wander performers site this guy when they are asked for those who inspire them. I'm going to pick up some of his work.