New
Texas Parks and Wildlife Rules Due to the shooting of an Attorney by Vice President Cheney, there needs to be some clarification of the rules and regulations. Here are the new regulations: 1. Any person with a valid State hunting license may harvest attorneys. 2. The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited. 3. The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove road kill to roadside, then proceed to nearest car wash. 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a helicopter or other aircraft. 5. It shall be unlawful to shout, "whiplash," "ambulance!" or, "Free Perrier!" for the purposes of trapping attorneys. 6. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys. 7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or hospitals. 8. If an attorney is elected to government office, there will be a $500 bounty on the pelt. 9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies, vermin and contagious diseases. 10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purposes of hunting attorneys. Attorney Bag Limits: Yellow-Bellied Sidewinder = 5 Hairless Civil Libertarian = 7 Skinny-Assed Ambulance Chaser = 12 Horse or Cattle Rustler Defender = 20 Silver-Tongued Murderer Defender = 50 Jack-Legged Divorce Litigator = No limit Honest Attorney = Extinct GOOD HUNTING! |
It wasn't me. You can't prove anything.
2006-02-22
Joke
A buddy of mine sent me this in an email. Too funny. I am so very sick
of hearing about the accident. I've never been hunting. I know that it
is a dangerous hobby. At least as dangerous as say, playing full
contact football.
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