Athena ?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla |
Ask Nat, if I'm not doing something that occupies my mind, I fall asleep.
It wasn't me. You can't prove anything.
Athena ?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla |
ONE
FINE FALL DAY AT THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAME A very self-important college freshman at a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his own. "You grew up in a different, actually almost primitive, world," the student said loud enough for the whole crowd to hear. "We young people today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We even have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing ...and uh.." Taking advantage of a pause for breath in the student's litany, the "wizened" one said, "You're right, Son. We didn't have those things when we were young, so we invented them you arrogant young pup!! Now what are you doing for the next generation?" From a friend's mail
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In
Texas, the district courts have original jurisdiction for all criminal
felony cases. If an individual is convicted of a capital felony, he or
she may be subject to punishment by death, if the State sought such
punishment. A capital felony is one in which an individual
"intentionally or knowingly causes the death of an individual," under
special circumstances. In particular, the: # murder of a public safety officer, firefighter, or correctional employee; # murder during the commission of specified felonies (kidnapping, burglary, robbery, aggravated rape, arson); # murder for remuneration; multiple murders; # murder during prison escape; murder of a correctional officer; # murder by a state prison inmate who is serving a life sentence for any of five offenses; [or] # murder of an individual under six years of age1. In Texas, a person must be of at least 17 years of age at the time of the crime to have the death penalty imposed upon him or her2. |
New
Texas Parks and Wildlife Rules Due to the shooting of an Attorney by Vice President Cheney, there needs to be some clarification of the rules and regulations. Here are the new regulations: 1. Any person with a valid State hunting license may harvest attorneys. 2. The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited. 3. The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove road kill to roadside, then proceed to nearest car wash. 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a helicopter or other aircraft. 5. It shall be unlawful to shout, "whiplash," "ambulance!" or, "Free Perrier!" for the purposes of trapping attorneys. 6. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys. 7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or hospitals. 8. If an attorney is elected to government office, there will be a $500 bounty on the pelt. 9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies, vermin and contagious diseases. 10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purposes of hunting attorneys. Attorney Bag Limits: Yellow-Bellied Sidewinder = 5 Hairless Civil Libertarian = 7 Skinny-Assed Ambulance Chaser = 12 Horse or Cattle Rustler Defender = 20 Silver-Tongued Murderer Defender = 50 Jack-Legged Divorce Litigator = No limit Honest Attorney = Extinct GOOD HUNTING! |
I have the theme song to Sesame Street going through my head. I can't remember the last time I heard that song. Someone please make it stop.
Details
released by the Palestinian Media Watch (PMW) on Tuesday revealed that
graphics appearing on the Hamas website call for the destruction of
Israel in a nuclear holocaust. On the website, a red Star of David is encased in a black rectangle which is then obliterated in a nuclear explosion. |
Iran's
nuclear activity is a cover for a clandestine weapons program, French
Foreign Minister Philippe Douste-Blazy has said in France's most direct
attack on Tehran in the escalating international dispute. Iran's chief nuclear negotiator immediately dismissed the charge, insisting that Iran did not "want to have the bomb." CNN
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An
old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his
whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy
and asked, " Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, " Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am." She said, " I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women; when I shower, watch TV, eat, whatever, everything seems to make me think of women." The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, " Are you a real cowboy?" The old cowboy replied, " I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian." |
I've
learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.. . . . I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things. |
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