Vision

I've been waring my contacts quite often again. It took a couple weeks to get back in to sync with them. They have astigmatisms correction so they must sit a specific way to work. As a matter of fact, if they are not sitting just right, they make things worse. It is not quite as bad as not warring contacts, but it sucks.

This last time I ordered contacts I got two slightly different brands. There was a warning on the page that this might happen. They are in transition and sending out what is in stock. This is significant because any difference between the contacts evokes a bout of hypochondria. "My left eye is messing up because it is a different brand" or "... different prescription." or "... because I touched it earlier." or "... I slept on that side." or "... I put that one in first." or "... I hadn't watched my hands thoroughly enough before putting them in." or "... I washed my hands too thoroughly before I put them in." or "... I've been blinking too hard." or "... I've been blinking too little." or "... I'm dying of eye cancer and just haven't figured it out yet." It is debilitating.

Last night when I came home I mowed the yard. The light was failing. I could see better in that light than I have in years. This is because I had my contacts in. I had them in all day, yet, they were still usable. Since I had the contacts in, I was able to use the clear safety glasses. The back yard got a good mowing despite the light. It was wonderful.

Several times during the mowing I had to adjust the contacts. This is normal. I have to adjust the spin o the contacts constantly. There is no way I can touch the contacts while mowing the yard. I've been puring gas. I've been messing with filthy things and grass and dirt. If I attempt to touch my eye, it will end in disaster. I've learned to blink in different ways to adjust the contacts.

When one contact goes blurry and I can tell it is because it is not right side up, I look far to the outside and blink to spin the contact that direction. Normally, they spin inward, so I try that direction first. If that makes it worse I look far inward and blink hard. If that does not work, I 'pop' my eye lids. That is, I close my eye, hold the eye lashes with my finger against my cheek and try to open my eye. This causes the eyelid to come off my eye with a little pop sound. This will suck the contact off the cornea. Sometimes this is necessary because I have dry eyes. The contacts cement themselves in place occasionally.

I repeat these actions until I can see. The first thing to try is the hardest. Nothing. The contacts are designed to right themselves during normal calm blinking. I have to stop, relax and look at something far away.  This almost never works, but it keeps me from freaking out and throwing the contacts in the trash.

Something else to try is tilting my head down, looking forward and blinking rapidly. This generally hurts, but does work occasionally. This might lead to me pulling down on the skin under my lower eyelid to make my top eyelid even tighter.  The next thing to try is closing my eye, putting some pressure on the front of my eye with my finger and looking back and forth a couple of times. I think these actions just cause my eyes to water.

If I hold my eyes open wide most of the time, the contacts do not rotate. When I squint or let my eyes half close for a while is when the contacts get off kilter. Sometimes just opening my eyes up wide and trying to blink as normally as possible will straighten them out. It feels creepy when they move around on my eye. That will never go away.

I want clear vision. I would like 20/20 vision. I can't drive because of my vision. I have three pare of glasses and contacts and a little pare of binoculars and magnifying glass in my pocket all just to get the most out of the vision I have. It is still not enough. It will do.

Contacts are a pain. Think about it. You have something in your eye all the time. Hard contacts were torture. The Geneva Convention should have something about them. I see just that little bit better with contacts so I endure. Glasses are annoying and don't do as good a job. I would like something like Lasix, but I cannot stand the thought of having a flap on my eye for the rest of my life. The no flap Lasix is dangerous and painful. I keep hearing about alternatives, but there just is nothing right now.