Herb, the shitty angel

I’m going to die. I remind myself of this nightly before I go to sleep. That or it is that shitty angel named Herb with the glasses who thinks it is more important to remind people of the frucking obvious instad of letting them get some sleep.

Herb must be on overtime because I thought about it today. Now I don’t know if Herb has a thing about ruining people’s day or if he is just out of ideas for helping. I thought about dying today at lunch. I was purchasing my third chicken sandwich from McDonald's this week. This time I got fries with that. It hit me, “Kelly, you are going to die.” I thought about my day and the past two weeks and I thought back to myself “You know, it would be great if you dropped me right here because I wouldn’t have to go back to work.”

It isn’t that I want to die. I just want to kick back on a beach in the warm daylight of an island somewhere and toss back mities until I check out on my way back to the beachside bar..

It isn’t that I am unafraid of death. I’m terrified of the pain and fear before death. I really fear dying in a situation where someone else is depending on me and I fail them. That is the hero wanna be in me.

I have no idea what goes on out there in the universe I have some ideas about where our consciousness goes. Most of them are pretty cool. The trouble is Nature isn’t cool. nature give zero shit about me here on Earth why would that change on the other side. What is the point of life? Why are we here. Herb knows. He isn’t talking.

Ideas

• Nothing. You grab your chest, try to scream, but can’t. Fade to black.
• No sense of time passing so who cares.
• This state was not so bad before I was born, so I’m not too worried.
• Reincarnation. I don’t like being here now, why the hell would I want to come back?
• My luck, I would come back as every tadpole in a pond all being eaten by the same fish at the same moment. One after the other.
• Christianity - Heaven seems boring. Hell sucks worse than Earth.
• I’m going to catch hell from Adam if he reads this.
• Judaism - I have no idea where jews believe they go when they die.
• Islam - I don't want to know what Muslim heaven looks like.
• Buddhism - Are they are the reincarnation thing?
• What happens to witches when they die?
• Stepping in to the light. There is some drug you can take that will kick off a step in to the light illusion in your head while you lie there in euphoria. Then it wears off and you have to go back to your life.

I need to do some research on religions. I’m not going to pick one based on the description of heaven and hell. I am just curious how long I can get this list. Wave it in front of Herb’s face on the way up.