It wasn't me. You can't prove anything.


The first throughs of Winter
The last couple of days have been cool and clear. The weekend was rainy and cold. It felt great. it is to warm up the rest of the week. I should live somewhere cooler, and dryer, with hills, and more trees.

Some updates
I have a Halloween party soon. I need to get the pictures that are on my camera off so I can have it free for the party. I'll put some links up when they are ready.
I read a short article about abundance today. Some problems are due purely to over abundance. Traffic congestion, obesity, even communication trouble could be attributed to the fact that we have more than we need. It creeps me out.
The next version of Microsoft Windows “Longhorn” has a developer's kit ready for use. These things are always full of bugs. They are good for getting an idea of the changes, but the number of addenda will be massive I bet.

I'll tell you one thing, I hate worrying about money. I may not be the nicest guy day to day, but I'm a bad man when it comes to making the bills. Ever since I went to Florida with some friends and felt those empty pockets I've been desperate to keep money in my wallet. Not just cash, the whole survival thing kicks in. Get between me and rent, and the fight or flight response activates. I'm fine now. There have been times when I've worried Tpro will sap my resources. So far the only challenge has been time and effort. Time will tell.

Korean phones
I was watching a Korean cop movie yesterday and I noticed some really cool mobile phones. One of the cops had a phone that looked just like mine. He popped off a styles from the back and slid open the keypad to reveal a pad to write on. He entered Korean letters and sent off a text message. The movie was lame, but the phones were neat.
I watched an Australian movie later that had the same type phones I've seen in the US. In Europe people keep getting in trouble for using their mobile phones to send live sports events to their friends. There was also a case where some people in a night club filmed a rape. It is a mixed bag.


Things I learned today
When I was a kid I did not do well in school. I was in the special education classes. I had some main stream classes, but I don't think it worked out. I missed learning how to handle stress and to communicate somewhere along the way. I read dreadfully slow to this day. Growing up, I thought I would not amount to much. My goal in life was to be independent and live on my own with little help. I've achieved that. Now it is time to retire from that life and move to the next. I'm not sure what that means. I'll keep you informed.
When I was in collage I still had this pride in my life. I insisted on attempting things myself, without help. The next time I attempt collage, I will hire someone if needed to read things to me.
People seem to trust me for some reason. I have terrible communication skills on a personal level. I think because I fake it with people at work I make them think I'm a helpful guy. it is all an act. I think that is why it stresses me out so much. I have had a close friend of mine tell me I should never work where I have to deal with customers again. Come to think of it, I've never had good luck with the general public.

Wireless Networking Continued
I bought some 25 foot Ethernet cables.


I came closer to quitting today than I ever have before. I took my badge off and was stomping out of my office to toss it on the desk of one of my supervisors and I had to stop and take a breath. If Tpro was doing better, this would have been my last day.
What happened? A priority one ticket on Friday an hour before I was supposed to walk out the door. This is in a week with several priority one tickets. It will still be broken Monday. This is so bad. I just can't handle stress. Some dope has set up an automatic deletion of files with the extension of "tmp". The trouble is, that extension means "template" on our of our applications. Thanks asshole! The file shares are read only. I have no access. I did not cause this problem. I feel like I'm the one being punished for it.
The only reward for hard work is more work. Scrudge McDuck said it best. "Don't work harder. Work smarter." OK, some one else probably said it first.
I left at 11:30 and had two margaritas. I slept the afternoon away. I have a neck each from the stress and a hangover from the drinks. I have a meeting Sunday with the Tpro guys and it is all I can think about. Why don't they teach stress management in school? I've been acting very unprofessional lately. I can't get it together.


Sarah came down from Kansas. She is almost eighty.
We went to Black Eyed Pea Sunday. It is strange when I notice the differences between our generations. She says things like “colored fella” and “we didn't do those things when I was that age”. I wouldn't dare correct her. Who is to say what is right at that age. She was a nurse her whole life. She married my grandfather about thirteen years ago. They were married for ten years. My blood grandparents were married for forty-five years. It ended in divorce. They were miserable for most of that time from what I've heard. I didn't come along until things were decades along. I only remember as a kid my grandfather sorting records (the vinyl kind) in a filing cabinet. As he pulled them from their sleeves, one by one, they broke. Apparently they had gone through too many winters in the back room. His frustration built as all of our family do. About the seventh one, I asked “can I break one?” I must have been five or six. He didn't kill me, but ... he wanted to.

All of a sudden . . .
Today at work, I was piled upon again. This time, though it just didn't matter. It will get done or, it won't. I will do my best and find along with the rest of the world if that is good enough. I didn't;t get upset. I didn't freak out. What happened? What is different? Sometimes I can take it and some times I can't I have been focusing on my day job over Tpro for a couple of weeks. I think it helps a great deal. That tells me I will have a hard time balancing family and work. Maybe that is the trouble I've had in the past.


Battlefield 1942
I bought a new game called Battlefield 1942. It is a WWII simulator that allows you to play Axis or Allies. Drive submarines. Fly planes. Drive tanks. The Jeeps rock, though I would love to through a box of grenades in the back when I let out across the desert. The single player mode of this game lacks a bit, but the main objective is to play with other people. That is where this game comes into its own. I haven't played online yet. I'm still trying to hit something with a bazooka. (Where did the word "bazooka" come from anyway?)
There are all kinds of scenarios. There are island assaults, city street to street fighting, open desert, blaw blaw blaw. You can play a grunt, sniper, or a medic. It is the vehicles that make this game different from say Team Fortress. So far I've had a blast. I have the symptoms of a good video game. Eating late, pain in back, neck and hands, and thinking about the game the rest of the day. I can't wait to get back to it this evening.

Woody's place
I have a buddy named Woody. (I still giggle when I ask "Hey Woody, what's up?") He, with his family, live in the beautiful neighborhood with a golf course running through it and beautiful homes all over the place. A feature of note for the neighborhood are the two gates you have to pass through to get to Woody's house. The homes in this section of the area start around a quarter of a million bucks. There is another section of the neighborhood where the homes are worth over a million. There is another gate to get in that section. I couldn't not live in a home where I had to pass through three gates. The running joke is the people in the million dollar homes don't want that quarter of a million dollar riff-raff in their neighborhood.

ShareReactor is a web page that has links for Overnet. Overnet is one of the P2P file sharing software packages I've used. It is mainly geared to movies. Anyway, ShareReactor is not a true commercial web page. They sell advertising to make some money, but they don't do so well. I've noticed their page goes down quite a bit. They had pop up adds that drive every one nuts. I remember a note going across the front page that red “If you don't stop complaining about the pop up adds in the forum, I'll BAN you for ever!” Now, they have in-content ads. That means, the server strips the ads in as the page is built before it is sent to the browser. This way no pop up killer or ad replacing software can catch it. I don't care. I've become so jaded I don't even notice the ads anymore. I read right past them without their even registering.

I'm watching an Australian show called Undead. It doesn't bather with all that “plot” stuff. It is just a simple - aliens invade and turn people into zombies - flick. A fisherman gets attacked by zombie fish in his boat. He has to shoot the fish after they repeatedly jump at his face trying to get him. This movie is possibly the best piece of entertainment ever made.
Why do they keep shooting zombies that just get up again? Shoot them in the head!!! Don't you watch the movies?


I was sitting at work today trying so hard to make something work. It didn't. I tried again and still it laughed at me. Some one else came along with something for me to do. I tried to make it work and it did not. I tried at both until it was time to go home. I stead. I tried at one and only narrowed the problem down. It still does not work. Neither works. The deadline was months ago. These things are making people miss deadlines. I had only moments to think of things that are more important than my labor at the company. I thought about What Saint Peter might ask me when I stand before the gates to be judged. Then I thought of the account some people give of the bright light and many people guiding you to the light just after death. Then I thought about the motivation of the light. Then I thought about those light-up fish at the bottom of the ocean that attract pray with a fake worm and a glow to their doom. Then I thought about the people guiding you to the light and wandered if they just want the light to eat you instead of them. I think about filing out of a portal from the mortal world with many others all being herded to the light by so very helpful beings. Then I think “Jesus I need a girlfriend!”

More Work
I stayed 13 hours today to not much avail. We are in a crunch time. The dam is leaking and I'm plugging holes as fast as I can. Tpro will suffer. I spoke with a close friend I have known for many years. He told me I am an “all or nothing” kind of guy. He is right. I complained recently of not being able to focus. I think the trouble is I focus too hard on one thing. Tpro needs my help more as an investor right now. I will give Tpro my all soon enough.


Jen's Concert
What a concert. Jen stole the show. I bought a CD from one of the other bands. There were ten artists in all. It was a blast. The guys wanted to party on, but I, being the lightweight, had to call it a night early.
We went to a place called the
Mucky Duck. It is a nice venue. The place was packed. It was a hot crowd.

I have some friends who went to the Renaissance Festival today. It is quite simply beautiful outside. I hope they have the time of their lives. I was invited, but I had some work to do. My role at Tpro is changing.

I have had to change my IP schema on my network . It turns out when you do VPN (Virtual Private Network) you start having network conflicts. I readjusted the web server (the pictures should be up), change the IP on everything. The tough part is SMB (Samba). It has some kind of IP link hidden somewhere. I've ordered some sandwiches. I'll tackle it after I eat something.
. . .
Wow, that was easy. “hosts allow” still had the old IP range in it. She is up and running.