Plastic Kelly

It wasn't me. You can't prove anything.


What! No selfie today?

Herb, the shitty angel

I’m going to die. I remind myself of this nightly before I go to sleep. That or it is that shitty angel named Herb with the glasses who thinks it is more important to remind people of the frucking obvious instad of letting them get some sleep.

Herb must be on overtime because I thought about it today. Now I don’t know if Herb has a thing about ruining people’s day or if he is just out of ideas for helping. I thought about dying today at lunch. I was purchasing my third chicken sandwich from McDonald's this week. This time I got fries with that. It hit me, “Kelly, you are going to die.” I thought about my day and the past two weeks and I thought back to myself “You know, it would be great if you dropped me right here because I wouldn’t have to go back to work.”

It isn’t that I want to die. I just want to kick back on a beach in the warm daylight of an island somewhere and toss back mities until I check out on my way back to the beachside bar..

It isn’t that I am unafraid of death. I’m terrified of the pain and fear before death. I really fear dying in a situation where someone else is depending on me and I fail them. That is the hero wanna be in me.

I have no idea what goes on out there in the universe I have some ideas about where our consciousness goes. Most of them are pretty cool. The trouble is Nature isn’t cool. nature give zero shit about me here on Earth why would that change on the other side. What is the point of life? Why are we here. Herb knows. He isn’t talking.

  • Nothing. You grab your chest, try to scream, but can’t. Fade to black.
    • No sense of time passing so who cares.
    • This state was not so bad before I was born, so I’m not too worried.
  • Reincarnation. I don’t like being here now, why the hell would I want to come back?
    • My luck, I would come back as every tadpole in a pond all being eaten by the same fish at the same moment. One after the other.
  • Christianity - Heaven seems boring. Hell sucks worse than Earth.
    • I’m going to catch hell from Adam if he reads this.
  • Judaism - I have no idea where jews believe they go when they die.
  • Islam - I don't want to know what Muslim heaven looks like.
  • Buddhism - Are they are the reincarnation thing?
  • What happens to witches when they die?
  • Stepping in to the light. There is some drug you can take that will kick off a step in to the light illusion in your head while you lie there in euphoria. Then it wears off and you have to go back to your life.

I need to do some research on religions. I’m not going to pick one based on the description of heaven and hell. I am just curious how long I can get this list. Wave it in front of Herb’s face on the way up.


Something to read while on the toilet because you might just shit.

Trueblood has jumped the shark. This, the last, season is all about bashing Republicans. Real Republicans, not fictional ones. Bad form HBO.

mmmmm shiny.



Several servers had some issues this morning. I walked in and ka-bluy! Got things going to a point. Our 15 minute meeting last an hour. Missed lunch because people who wanted to go to the good place wanted to go to a much more expensive place. I just ended up skipping lunch. I’m fat enough.

More illegals entering Texas than people born here. Gives a bit of scale to the issue.

I promise, Android has something similar. Apple IOS has a backdoor.

Trueblood makes a “Republicunt” crack. Prove their Demetwat leaning.

Kary not invited (uninvited I bet) to Peace talks between Israel and Hamas (Note, I didn’t say Gaza or the Palestinians. That is because Hamas is te one in charge and the one talking .. Oh, and shooting missiles at civilians.)

Maybe the IRS didn’t lose all those emails. Will anyone go to jail over this tyranny? Something about the level of “destroyed” or something.

Tel Aviv airport put on flyby status for U. S. carriers for at least 24 hours. Pesky war going on and all.

France getting a head start on surrender to Russia. Interesting idea to screw Putin (Russia) in that article. It will never fly. it makes way too much sense. God forbit the U. S. bring herself to punish an aggressor nation.

They were in a war zone.

Meeting doodle


This is me waiting on a ride

N9t pricks


Going on the background list


Nothing left but the sword.

For a warm humid night, it is nice outside. There are neighbors outside talking at 22:30. This neighborhood can't be all bad.

Just watched Ender’s game. I hate it when I figure out the ending half way through the story. I had a pretty good idea what was going on and how it was ll going to end. I also caught the little twist with the training before it happened. I wasn’t even paying that close attention. It just all came to me as the movie unfolded. I read too much.

Russian missile takes down passenger jet in Ukraine. I’m upset, but not surprised.


Many a dusty tomb

One way

Stumbling drowsely through life untill I blunder into the answer.

She will name it Christine



I had planned on taking a picture of the mystery honker this morning. It was sprinkling so I just waited until just after 6:00 to leave the house. Most of the time I get honked at is around 5:50 so I figure a 10 minute head start lowers my odds of getting the honk. It worked this morning. Another day.

Kimber Super Carry pistol review.

I tried to publish yesterday’s notes to my blog. I write these things in Google Docs. I use it on my phone as well. It is awesome. The Blogger app sucks. It will not accept all the formatting from Docs. Odd that because they are the same company and all. No bullets, no styles, no nothing except text and enter key presses. Come on Google.

White House response to world falling apart.

Tesla hacked

The best breakup advice I’ve ever heard. I didn’t catch who said this. Paraphrasing: Don’t explain. Be firm. Don’t be friends. Go separate ways.

Biting the bullet and getting a water resistant case for my phone. I figure I’ll have it for at least another year Lord willing. Yesterday’s jaunt to lunch in the rain convinced me. I felt like a pussy complaining about the pleasant summer shower.

Really frikkin old keyboard

This is what my doodles in meetings look like.


Listened to an old radio show (Johnny Dollar) about a king cobra. They distracted the snake by playing the flute. The trouble is, it is not the music of the flute that distracts the snake. It is the motion of the end of the flute. Watcha snake charmer some time. Snakes cannot really hear the flute at all. Their sense of hearing works much differently than that of we humans. How do I know this fact? I don’t remember ever learning it. I picked it up somewhere.

One of these old radio shows said “Any unsolved crime is perfect.” I disagree. The perfect crime is no crime at all. The perfect crime is never found out. A crime that is known and unsolved is simply in stasis. I say there is no perfect crime. There are simply imperfect crime solvers.

I attempted to video the person who honks at me this morning. I got the camera raised, but I’m not sure ifI got anything worth looking at. I ll check it when I get to the house.

“That joke about the farmer’s daughter and the salesmen ...” There are like 100. I’ve heard at least 10. I can remember none.

Lunch conversation
  • Weather
    • Raining outside.
    • Walking to lunch regardless of the weather.
    • Weather in places where everyone else worked in their careers.
    • The rain.
    • How wet we were getting
    • Which way had more awnings, fewer puddles
  • Work
    • Projects at work
    • Dodging attending meetings
    • How I use our (work) GUI
  • IBM and Apple doing something together that no one quite grasps.
  • Telephone Road and it’s history. We still don’t know where  the name came from.
    • By “working class” they pretty much mean “shit hole”


Honk, and some other stuff that happened

I took this after lunch

The idea was to show how wet I got on the walk in the rain, but it just didnt turn out.

Out of work. Headed to the family