Plastic Kelly

It wasn't me. You can't prove anything.


2016-07-19

Pic

One of these things is not like the others. One of these things does not belong.


2016-07-17

Another week, another 48.6 cents

Another week, another 48.6 cents

Whoopsy


2016-07-15

My glass


2016-07-13

No More Car Chases

I watch a lot of car chases on YouTube. The plan seems to be to chase people around until they give up, run out of gas, or kill someone and the police get serious about stopping them. This is bullshit. In this age, we need some way of stopping, or at least deterring people from running even if it is after the chase is afoot.

I want a drone:

  • Launched from a police vehicle at speed
    • The target acquired and locked before launch
    • Possibly assisted during flight from a police helicopter or people on the ground
    • Maybe even attatch them on every stop and only detach them after the all clear is given
  • Fly very fast to catch the vehicle and be able to slow to the speed of the vehicle and attach itself.
    • Electro magnates or some sort of cat’s claw that could pierce the tin or carbon fiber shell of the vehicle
    • Lights and sirens blazing
    • Little sign that says “pull over”
    • Detachable without assistance so it can follow the suspects on foot or to another vehicle
  • Options I like
    • GPS phones home with location info
    • 2 way radio (controled by the police obviously), maybe a loud speaker
    • Spotlight
    • Glas breaker
    • Taser for people
    • Taser for the car (electric short circuit of some kind)
    • Tire slashing mechanism
    • Drill to enter the engine compartment and disable it
    • Foam spray to gum up the mechanical workings of the vehicle
    • Teargas
    • Signal smoke mechanism
    • That glow in the blue light stuff they use in armored cars


Evan if the drone could only fly in front of the vehicle and dropped spike strips faster than the driver could react, it would be worth the effort.

I daydream about much more than this. I picture a drone launching from the back of hte police car, flying up to the suspect vehicle, landing on the roof, walking to the hood with the suspect swerving like mad. All the time a bunch of lights and sirens are blaring from the drone. The drown squats on the hood, drills a hole in it, and spray expanding electronics killing foam in to the engine compartment. Then it robot walks or crawls on four bony legs to one of the front tires and as the engine begins to sputter, bopps it. Without missing a beat, it walks down the side of the car and pops one of the back tires as the car’s engine gives up under the strain of no air flow and the electronics getting dissolved and short circuited by the magic foam.

When the suspect decides to bail out, the dron detaches itself and follows. It very quickly overtakes the runner and shoots them in the back with a taser all the while the lights and sirens blaring of course.

No reason 3 or 4 couldn’t be launched in the event of multiple occupants of the vehicle. There are always a dozen cop vehicles nearby in these car chase videos.

Dangit Myth Busters. Where are you when we need you?

Of course, at some point when the driver tells the car to drive away from a traffic stop, the car will simply “No.”.


2016-07-11

Creapy sunrise


2016-07-06

Waiting


2016-07-02

Dinner ware