It wasn't me. You can't prove anything.


2003-11-08

Florida
In the summer of 1993 I was lost. I haven't found myself yet. I've been married and I've fallen in love, though not with the same woman. I was going to school in Missouri City Texas at Houston Community College. I was taking core classes and making “B”s. I walked to school and home again. I spent time talking with the smokers outside the main door to the building where classes were held. They have since moved the smoking area somewhere farther away from the walk way.
In that summer I hung out with an old friend of mine. I had known her for years. She started dating a guy named Brian. He was in to old cars, and using women. I suppose that is judgmental, but I feel it is the truth. They had meat when they were much younger and chased each other around the yard. I remember my friend smiled when she told that story. I don't know what she saw in Brian. He just seemed like a train wreck to me. I hung out with them because there was just nothing else going on in my life and I so wanted to hook up with my friend. I still have feelings for her. I suppose I always will.
I helped Brian on the 1973 Transam that he was rebuilding. The vehicle I remember most is the 1971 Chevrolet pickup that he let me drive in an unfinished subdivision one Tuesday afternoon. I remember putting in the transmission to the Transam. It was a turbo 400 three speed. That is where I learned that there are several different kinds of torque converters. There are lockup torque converters that stop slipping at a given RPM. There are “tight” torque converters that don't slip as easily for sports cars. There are “loose” torque converters for other cars and there are stall torque converters that are in neutral until a given RPM. There are combinations of each.
One evening I ride my bike over to Brian's place and find out that he and my friend are headed to Florida. They site the same reason's I want to hear. “We need to get away from our parents.” I felt the same way. I remember telling my parents. My father understood and was supportive. My mom, being my mom, freaked, but relented.
We drove the T-Bird to Florida, the whole way out running a huge rain storm. It turned out to be the bands of a Hurricane that was hitting the place we were headed. We missed it.
We drive in to Hollywood Florida late and slept in the car. We had been sleeping in the car for a couple of days anyway so it wasn't a big deal. Brian drove around until we found a place to crash. The first night we spent in a small hotel off the beach. For a Month we stayed at a hotel on the beach. We rented an apartment, but only stayed there for a couple of weeks. Brian wanted to ditch my friend. He asked me to take care of her. I decided to come back home to try to make him stay with her. He didn't. She ended up staying with some looser for a couple of weeks and then came home herself. What could I have done different? Not gone in the first place I suppose.
All in all, I count it as a learning experience. I learned I don't like being broke. I learned to stay away from Hollywood Florida. I learned one cruel part of the world that stays inside me now.
Before we left for Florida, I was in limbo. I didn't have a job. I lived on Social Security Supplemental Income. I was going to school, but that was just to do something. It seemed like what I was supposed to do. I meat many good people there including for some strange reason several topless dancers. Apparently dancers go to HCC in pretty high numbers. I meat a Play Boy bunny at University of Houston. We were both filling out change of address forms.
The whole ride to Florida in the Transam Brian and my friend were in the car, but I felt a presents. The feeling was the strongest just as I woke up. I know now it was the angle taking care of me. Nothing bad actually happened to me while I was in Florida. I brushed close enough to the edge to learn the lesson.
When I got back, I slipped quickly back into the routine of oblivion. Eventually my friend came back. I never did get with her. She was vulnerable and I felt crappy just wanting her.
I'm not sure how to close this entry. The truth is my life just kept going. Now I'm here. Tell me about your adventures in life.

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