It wasn't me. You can't prove anything.


2017-09-20

How Many Axes does it Take?

Someone asked me what’s wrong and I was going to use this as an outline for a blog entry, but I don’t have that kind of time. The title means all of these issues are axes dangling over my head waiting to fall. Some alternate titles might include “Why I can’t just get over it”, “Why I look tired all the time”, “AAAAAA!!! AAAAAA!!!”.


  • Divorce
    • We are separated and I have no idea what comes next.
  • Harvey and my stress
    • Roof - leaks
    • Car - went through some high water
    • I wake at night in a sweat if I hear rain.
    • I had no real destruction and everyone else is doing a better job of handling this.
  • Harvey and my friend’s stress
    • My best friend had his house flooded.
    • Other friends had their houses flooded.
  • House (other than Harvey)
    • Floors need replacing
    • Needs paint inside and out
    • Could use some landscaping
    • The siding on the back of the house needs some repairs.
    • There is some water damage from the last hurricane at the back door.
    • May have to sell in the divorce anyway
    • Taxes are through the roof.
    • We have a car dump next door.
    • Ants!
  • My father’s health (no details)
  • My mother’s health (no details)
  • My health
    • My balance is getting to the point I have a hard time walking.
    • I have headaches and I think it is related to something going on with my balance.
    • I have a pain in my gut that might be blader infection, kidney stone.
    • I have nightmares of having intestinal parasites crawling through my flesh and no way to prove to myself that they do not exist.
    • I just don’t have time to fight the insurance to get fixed. That is a full time job.
  • Work
    • 400,000 bosses (everyone at the company) You remember that scene in Office Space where the guy complains about his eight bosses giving him crap about a form?
    • One more fix that everyone wants to get in before I can do my job.
    • Unpredictable hours
    • Multitasking and the fact that I can’t do it. People at work say multitasking is bad and then put you in a situation where you can’t succeed without it.
    • Having to depend on others is stressful.
    • No one wants to commit to a decision.
    • I found a desk that works for me and I live in fear that they will move me again “...  to disrupt people’s comfort zones.” Because God knows finding what works for you and sticking with it is a lousy way of not hitting the same problems over and over again.
  • Overcommunication
    • 9 million ways of talking and no one uses them.
    • 9 million ways of talking and I can’t find the information I need.
    • 9 million ways of talking and I don’t want to talk to anyone.
    • 9 million ways of talking and I only hear static when I scream.
  • No outlet and a million inlets leads to Kelly being an asshole.

Honestly, I’m afraid to start venting because I may not be able to stop.

5 comments:

Unknown said...

Hey, I can't help with all (or even most) of this, but - try one of those one-on-ones for the Harvey relief. It's draining even if *absolutely nothing* happened to you - and it wasn't nothing for you. You're already stress, and this is another BIG stressor. It's not a bad thing if it's too much, and the Man (at least theoretically) realizes this.

For work: fight back on office moves. Several people have. It doesn't have to be a hard fight, just say you don't want to move. It's not like we're hurting for space. I don't think that disrupting comfort zones is what they're after right now.

I don't know about a bunch of the other stuff, but even getting one thing done helps.

zhsy00001 said...

The last comment on this blog was in 2014.
I was in that meeting for Harvey victims when I typed this up. It kind of helped.

Unknown said...

I entered a comment before and don't know where it went. Basically, if you want some advice regarding the first bullet, I have some experience there. We can go to lunch sometime and talk if you like.

Unknown said...

That first week after Harvey I was an emotional wreck, and I had no damage at all, neither did any of my family. I'm feeling for everyone else and feeling guilty that I even feel bad at all. Survivor's guilt is real.

Unknown said...

^ -David Drinnan