It wasn't me. You can't prove anything.


2004-11-24

Thanksgiving
Tomorrow is Turkey day. I'm off to a friend's house to enjoy a sort of traditional turkey dinner. I did the same thing a couple of years ago and it was a blast. There will not be any where as many people this time. Just a few dregs of social misfits. I will be the only one there without a significant other.

Wish and Wonder
It's cold outside. I think that is appropriate for Thanksgiving day. I wish I could say I was packing for the family trip to wherever. My wife is putting the kids to bed. I finished my honey-dos today so I'll have a day to myself when we get back. Or, maybe I wish I could say that I was working on my PHD over the holiday, or volunteering to help someone. Maybe building a house with Carter.  Maybe in Iraq, a career officer, squatting in a hole somewhere looking forward to my turkey flavored MRE. I'm half way up the scale. I'm not homeless and I'm not Trump. I am a member of the great and powerful American middle class. We make America possible. And, I'm holding up my end all alone. My luck, I'll have to be a pallbearer at my own funeral. Did I wish at some point to do it all myself? I bet I did. By mistake, I said that I wanted to do it all myself. To prove that I could. Well, I've done it. Now I wish to do it alone no more.
God, I wish I had someone to share tomorrow with. You know what I mean. Someone special who finds me special. What happened? Where did I go wrong?

P. S.
I tried not to type the above paragraphs. I stopped and deleted them twice, but they just kept coming back. Sorry.

Links
Simpson's personality test.
Bob Marley.

2 comments:

CyndyMW said...

That is one of the most touching things I've ever read. Wow. Thanks for your transparency and honesty; we should all be that way.

Dave said...

Not having an SO put me through the Blue Christmas situation for a lot of years. Then, I tried to have a date for New Years Eve by Thanksgiving. I never had to think about being no-SO after that.

Years later after a marriage, I found myself without a date for NYE, but I was supposed to have one, so that was a weird year, and the problem didn't arise until after Christmas.

The next year I was down. The next I was angry. Both years no date for NYE. But, I was going out and finding a tango band in my tux and having an ok time without an SO.

The next year, I didn't have a date for NYE, nor was I angry, nor needy. I spent the night dancing with a beautiful woman and falling in love with her. She would have taken me home, the only problem was that she was the piano players date. Well, just a date. But, rules, ouch, the rules I live by. No poaching. Still, I was finally healthy, so the night was wonderful.

Know that you will find someone. Someone will find you.