Tired
It is difficult to come to grips with the fact that you are just going to be alone for the rest of your life. I have had opportunities. I have squandered, or simply let them go. A bunch of names come to mind of women who seemed to like me. There have always been problems. I just didn't learn the proper skills somewhere along the way.
There are allot of things I can't say here. I've typed about ten lines and had to remove them all. They might hurt others or cause some one to try and help me. I don't want help. I am tired.
God answers all prayers. Sometimes the answer is no. There are two things God has not granted me. The first is love, and the other I cannot say here. I am tired of hearing myself complain.
I slept all day today. I will sleep all day tomorrow if I can. At least my dreams are a distraction.

Audio book
I'm listening to the old testament on my computer. Man, those guys knew hoy to party. This book is all wine, sheep, sleep with my daughter, make the slaves do the work ... Everything is seven this and seven that, bags of silver and so on.